Someone needs to roll the dice

I am an idiot that doesn't check Colorado's bipolar weather. I was just outside and it was beautiful, came in for just a few minutes, asked my little Charlie if he wanted to walk. Step outside and it's sleating, of course Charlie was still very much interested in going out, so I ended up walking him up and down my street, him nice and toasty with his thick fur and rain coat. I froze my butt off...but once he hears the leash there's just no going back from there.

Don't care I'm not going to the doctor unless I'm dieing...I don't wanna shot. Now that I have my own money I can buy all the suckers I want, so check mate Dr Haris!

We are a society that instead of going to see people, we just invent technology so we don't have to...btw I'm in a long distance relationship, so where do I find this?

Where are they sold?

Ok, so when you're in that big bucket thingy and the icky, icky water comes on... that big force field keeps you from getting out. Kitty is clearly saving you.

*Buying little plastic boats*
"Whatcha doing this weekend?"
Me: "Um...Nothing."

Weee don't SPEAK OF THIIISS!!!

O.o

People say "Go fuck yourself" like it's a bad thing.

Well apparently India..

CIA fucked up and glitched out while spying on you. So yeah you're dead.

There's just nothing wrong with this man...besides TOO MUCH AWESOME!

Earth is covered in parasites so who really has it bad?