Oh dear god...

*looks ten years old* Hello, I am a 50 year old hardened battle Sargent.

It's nice to see that romance isn't dead.

Counter offer - blow nose THEN wipe.

Me when I eat an entire bag of chips.

Looks like their grandma gave them their Christmas gift.

Lawful good.

The face morph of him and Data from Star Trek is still my favourite.

I couldn't imagine having my cats be outside cats - I'd be so worried they're get hurt by roaming free especially with all the traffic.

This is probably how I look to my bf when I'm angry - small and slightly harmful.

When we still had our cat Charlie, he would jump in the bath with my mom so she'd wash him, dry him, and then clean out the tub and have her own bath.

Even better - get a slip cover with 'bible' written on the front so you don't have to harm your books with glue. Like what you'd use to cover a textbook.

Get through cleaning my room without stopping for three hours to look at things.

Well, it would be "everyone's trash" in that case since both parents gave the kid up.

Have a heart attack and crap my pants.

Don't have the lifestyle to own a dog. Cats I can cuddle when I have time, feed them on a schedule, and let them chill on their own.

Vacation plans for next year are now made.

Me when I attempt to cook or bake anything.

I wore cargo shorts, birks, and a muscle shirt once to highschool. People thought I was a lesbian.

Will use in the future thank you.

I hope to be like this when I'm 90.

All of us are crap in one way or another. Just need to find someone who will accept your crappiness and greatness.

*jazz music stops*