No matter where I run, I can never seem to escape that infernal Internet infection called homestuck. Seriously, it's everywhere I look.

I've always heard that too, but how the hell would we know that? Have we checked? I thought it was more like a generally accepted idea since nobody can prove otherwise.

I don't think we know the answer to that yet, do we?

Wouldn't be the first time, either.

Yeah, I bet it's almost as surprising that everyone I know and love is a trash can, secretly waiting and biding their time for years for the perfect opportunity to kill me off.

Dude, I bet so many people would kill for your power.

Yaaay!! New friend!!

In that case, wanna be friends?

Damn. I don't know whether I want to be your friend or not now. Do I wanna win the lottery or end up in a wheelchair? Hm....

Yeah, I mean, people will still respond to your comment and stuff I guess.

So are you, like, just gonna not explain the whole "narrowly avoiding death" thing or...?

Thanks, I'll look into it.

As soon as I find an ice cream or slushy or smoothie or something that has liquid nitrogen in it, I'll be sure to let you know.

It's the thought that counts.

Yeah, I guess it's hard to readjust after doing something one way for so long. I'm assuming there's some trick to playing wood winds, like how with brass you make tightly-lipped raspberry noises.

It's just the concept of reeds that I don't get. No matter how hard I blew into the instrument, hardly any good sound would come out.