We have guns in case some maniac tries to bring a Kinder Egg into the house

Now all we need is spray paint, candles, and the blood of a virgin.

That's what she said.

We should make a banana a unit of measurement.

I have always heard this and never believed this. Now with the pic, I believe.

It's not trolling, it's perpetual tumblr karma.

Now I want to grab a cup of water and hold it above my head.

It is even worse when you start writing, but then it breaks, so you have to erase the mark, THEN make the walk of shame back to the sharpener.

Are those naturally occurring caltrops?
If so, then I'm glad we don't have them.

Spontaneous combustion. It's like dark souls, but even more dying without reason!

It looks like a pikachu on weed.

The first trash can on the left doesn't have a dent in it. How about someone fix that for me?

Number 48 is incorrect, as the shortest complete sentance is "Go!", as it has two letters.
Any sentance of this type has an understood "you" to act as the subject, and the verb is the command.

I would love these parents

Break the metal around the glass, remove the glass pane, and then free monies!

Then you get nothing but hate comments from entire lobby.

1: Yes, but only if you get caught.
2: Renovations can happen?
3: Some like their money more than others.
4: Perhaps the first name of a ship that moves stuff?
5: Love may be blind, but people CERTAINLY aren't.
6: Because doctors can be terrible people.
7: The speed of dark is how fast light can dissipate because of a lack of light, so it would be slightly slower than the speed of light.

Think of leaving work as entering a line of people, and your workplace as the end of the line. The earlier you leave, the less people in front of you, which you will exit the line faster, and reach your workplace in a more timely fashion.

I wanna know how to do that....