If anyone ever cheats on me, this is how I would like it to go down

I think you reversed them...

This will be me if I ever break the car window

I can see why.

But fat people don't go very fast.

Beautiful words to live by

He's like, "the fuck is this?

I would beat that boss, I bet.

That decision was the right decision.

This needs to happen

That post took an emotional turn of events

I love you

And then when you pick it up, it's really hot, right? Well, then your brain is like, "oh, it's burning your hands! Quickly throw it in your mouth!"

I like this pope. He's awesome.

GROUP HUG!
*squeezes all funsubers into a massive hug*
(That includes you, guests)

I'd vote for you