I'd be shitting my pants if I had to outrun a police officer

[insert deep quote about things you love getting burnt]

Only when you visit your grandparents? That's just me 24/7

*try and tell someone why you're laughing*
*laugh even more*

Go big or go home

31. DON'T microwave something at 3:00 am in the morning if you still live with your parents unless you want the beeping to wake up your mom who will throw your ass into outer space

You forgot the tears

"NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE STUCK UP YOUR BUTT!"

Deer, EVOLVE!

He wasn't bready for the class

Who let the cat near the drugs again?

The avengers are faced with a CATastrophy

Have you tried turning it on and off?

They are both doing a great job

It's like the "lol" situation all over again

I sssssee you

"Just pretend your mother and I didn't adopt you"

How did they figure it out???

Can I get a jigawatt jigawatt

"hush child, no one needs to know"

That cat is in FUR a surprise

JACKPOT!

*whispers into secret walkie talkie*
they're on to us