Storytime: One time in 8th grade I drank my mom's makeup remover. After I got out of the hospital my parents had me tested for autism because I "should've known not to drink it the first time nevermind the 5th". They said I'm autistic and had to be moved to the special Ed class. I've seen the Spec. Ed class in school and I was hyped. I was gonna get to color all day. My first day they introduced me to the class and let me loose. The first thing anybody said to me was "My shoes hurt". A few days went by and I got in trouble for laughing at what the kids said but other than that it was going pretty good. One day the tard guard left the room for like one minute and Cheesy Chad (he smelled like cheese) got on top of the table, pointed at me and screamed of with his head. So, his two servants grabbed me up and help me down while Chad stabbed me with a toy. With his retard strength it hurt really bad. Eventually the tard guard came back and pulled them off. Like anyone would be, (1/2)

Storytime: A few days after my shit fiasco i was in the hospital because I almost literally shit my guts out. While in the hospital my mom came home from studying tiger penises in the jungle. She brought me back a pet snake. I loved the that snake. I named it slither and suck (based on the porno me and my friends are planning to make). A few months after receiving my pet I went over to it's tank to play with it and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it until I realized that D (my dog named after dick put my parents though it meant dog) was gone too. Me and my parents looked everywhere and couldn't find them. Eventually we went all the way to the woods behind our house and right in front of the pedo tree (story for another time) was D with S and S biting his D... Now, I loved my snake but nobody, and I mean NOBODY fucks with my D. D was running around in circles and the snake was spinning super fast. It was like a helicopter but the blades on the bottom and without the flying (1/2)

Story Time: My father was born in the 70s, one time when I was little he gave me hot chocolate, knowing I was lactose intolerant he forced me to drink it anyway. About 15 minutes later it was coming... I went to the bathroom. I pushed with the force of the bomb that hit Hiroshima and screened like a little teenage girl in a horror movie. Then, shit went everywhere (I left the door open cause I had to go so bad). The wall is dripping so much it looks like the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. My dad, having heard my autistic screeching, came in to see me , the bathroom, and our neighbor Brad (story for another time) covered in shit. He screamed "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!" I screamed back "YOU GIVE ME HOT CHOCOLATE ILL GIVE YOU HIT CHOCOLATE!!!" The bathroom is still stained.