Thanks bud.

it but actually it was long written to happen with me. All of these things only compunded to it. I am still the model child, overachiever in the society, in my class, amongst teachers but I am also at a better place now. I do have my meltdowns but they are not to the point that I self harm again.

emotions, woud cry in the bathroom and then when I came out, I was the strong fabulous teen. My thighs would burn and I would like it. I guess some part of it may also be related to my childhood sexual abuse by my senior at a hostel I was living in. Then, eventually I stopped cutting before my first year of college. Then I didnt do it for 2 years and again cut myself on the thighs (because they can be easily covered) once in 3rd year of college and since then, I haven't.
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I used to nail bite as a child and would peel skin around my nails. I also would take out the inner layer of my cheeks by constantly picking on it with my teeth and never let the scabs of wounds stay there. I woud constantly scratch them.
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I wanted to manage my image as a strong, good, academically gifted girl so much that I completely disowned myself emotionally. Last year, I told some parts of it to my parents and my dad cried. He thought it was because of his constant nagging annd scolding me that I did all of

him. He loved me truly and I had no reason to think of all that but still I had this thing in my mind that I had to be the best at everything. So, when in my mid term exams in 11th grade, I got 78%, I totally got shocked. I thought I was up to no good and I am a loser now. That night, I dont remember quite well but I sat in the bathroom and took my father's razor in my hand and was crying and hushing myself. I repeatedly would tel myself "no, no, no" but cut myself on my left wrist. Once I felt the physical pain, it somehow distracted me with all.of my emotions running on in my mind and I felt at ease. I liked how the drops of blood oozed faster at some places and shined. After that, I cut 2 3 times more. It was summers and to hide it, I had to pretend I was cold and wear full sleeves sweater because I had ony half sleeve or sleeveless garments.
Nobody wondered why and let me wear sweaters in extreme heat. This then later lead me to cutting my thighs and I'd do it overcome with al the

Retarted is this