Do you know how hard it is to brush your hair with a big-ass trident? This one is actually the perfect size.

What do you know? You're a goddamned wall.

Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!

That's not even correct LOLspeak. Come on.

Kudos for correct use of irony! *high five*

You had ONE JOB.

Me when sharing a book with anyone in school.

I have no physical prowess to speak of. But that doesn't mean I can't fuck your shit up. I will rain napalm straight from satan's asshole on your life if you push me too far. Now who wants a cookie? ^_^

*holds up hands* Don't look at me. I have no fucking clue what's going on.

I have no facebook. Guess I'll go to another site. Your loss.

IN (SOVIET?) TEXAS, YOU BITE SNAKES.

I thought they were unicorn farts?

#outsidersfanworldproblems

Pretty much, yeah. And this doesn't even account for PMS.

OH GOD HE'S NOT MOVING! I THINK I SMOTHERED HIM!

Kind of unfair. Horizontal stripes add width, as do the colors red and white. Dark colors slim, not to mention the badly fitted jacket conceals the true shape and adds bulk. They're probably closer in size than most people would guess.