Because there was a giraffe in the fridge right? And because someone locked him/her in a fridge, he/she could not attend the meeting the lion invited all the animals to.

You have my condolences.

But skills actually taught in classes are more concretely valuable. The ability to covertly sneak under vigilant systems (i.e. successfully cheat on a test) is not going to be useful when it comes to real-world application (i.e. designing motors).

You are subconsciously hoping to see the creature from "Alien" burst from her chest.

Stoya. She is a pornographic actress and model. This gives you an idea of what is going on below the camera angle.

Well the first one is suggesting bondage. "Fifty Shades of Gray" is a book about BSDM, the rope is a means of restraining a person, and the cucumber is a penetrative sex toy. The seventh one, according to Reddit, suggests giving a child (hence the children's underwear) an obscene caffeine rush from all those Red Bulls, and then strapping him or her to a leash to restrain the resultant energy rush – or heart attack; even adults should not consume that many energy drinks.

DIY abortion.

Yeah, but even at terminal velocity, the knife might land at an angle, or – depending on the weight and sharpness – still bounce. They should have held a solid-steel dart, complete with tail fins, twenty meters above his exposed back; that is trust.

I too started fapping to this story with my dominant hand. And what did I do about the plot twist? No change. I finish what I start.

Well that's part of it. For those of you that cannot see the color orange, you are missing the message: "fuck the color blind." But, beyond that, for those of you who cannot see the color niffelwallup, you are missing a beautiful and thoughtful poem regarding the shortcomings of human perception with regard to the sheer vastness and complexity of objective reality.

People are animals and they do. Also, it has been my observation that people are more likely to sob while eating, or masturbating, or procrastinating on a very large paper that is due by midnight tonight when they are identified as "animals" or "pieces of shit."