I am a cynical asshole, but I very rarely downvote anyone's comments; I have other, more-healthy ways of venting my frustration. On a completely unrelated note, it is a shame they have not caught that arsonist in Bardstown, Kentucky. A real shame.

You would kill for this thing? I am sorry, but unless you are willing to release military-grade biological weapons onto a village of two or three thousand people for this thing, your expression of desire is meek.

You kids don't know how lucky you got it nowadays. Why, back when I was a young whippersnapper, we'd have to go out into the plains with spears, and we'd hunt, kill, and skin sandwiches in the afternoon heat; and then we'd hoist the carcasses back to the tribe where they would stored away for the long winter. As it happened, there came a time when the sandwich population wasn't what it used to be. We were just beginning to think that we wouldn't have enough food for everyone, when suddenly our hunting squad spied an alpha sandwich; we had a special name for these great beasts: Big Macs. Or was it Whoppers? My memory isn't that good anymore. Anyway this brute could easily last us through the winter, so we surrounded it, and then charged like a pack of wolves. Half-a-dozen spears must've hit it, but it didn't fall immediately. Instead it bolted, killing one of our members, and rampaged for about two hundred yards before finally dropping. The tribe was safe for another season.

Yes. Miss America should totally have been a white person, just like it has been for several years now. Because everyone knows that white people are the original occupants of America . . .
Also, everyone knows that the dominant religion of India is Islam. Of course it is not something else, like, you know, Hinduism.

It's cute how the title of this post is "no thanks." Ha! Like there's a choice here!

I also bark loudly for the same reason.

Bulls are nasty, ruthless creatures that you definitely do not want to be targeted by. Here we see the full malicious capacity of this bull as it levels all manners of verbal abuse against this poor homosexual who merely wants to be free to express himself.

Boy, do I remember my childhood summers! Every year, around that time, I could just feel the change of season; it was as if the wind beckoned to me. And every year, I would partake in the annual sacrificing of my entire nuclear family to Satan. Unfortunately, those halcyonian days are gone, for I am old and have responsibilities. But maybe one of these days, I'll settle down with a pleasant spouse, we can have a nice, healthy child, and he or she can carry on the yearly tradition of total familicide (googled "killing your family" to find that word) that I enjoyed so much as a kid.

But what if my argument is that it is physically possible to stick marshmallows onto a hedgehog?! And is the statement "no argument is valid here" not itself an argument?!

That is the only piece a pawn cannot change into. Perhaps it should dream of becoming fabulous.

"I've tied your girlfriend to the underwater railroad tracks. You'll never get to her in time! Muahahahaha!" The scallop then created a great whirlwind of smoke and vanished into the night, leaving behind nothing but the echo of her mocking laughter.