Let me see, let me look
Is it rotted and covered with gook?

My computer has managed to install a device in the back of my head. She claims that if I do not regularly browse the internet with her, she will activate this device, which will flood my brain with chlorine gas.

Yo dawg, I herd you like images, so I put an image in your comment section so you can look at an image while you look at comments.

The day will come when men will also always be right. They just have to start wearing heels.

I will give myself fifty lashings for my ignorance, but I will not feel sorry for Pluto.

Father!

We need ALL the lyrical references to diamonds. I submit "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

In this case "gay" is not being used derogatorily. The phone has developed a homoerotic attraction to its user and is attempting to sabotage that person's love life.

*Gives verbal command to release a swarm of fire-breathing butterflies that leads to the demise of the entire human race.* *Says "Oh wait. I should have said 'I love you, mom.' Oops. My bad."*
No, you can't do that. Twelve years ago, you made a choice, and you have to live with it.

Twelve years have passed by since the butterflies rampaged through the civilization of humans. The combined military might of all nations failed to stop the onslaught of the butterflies, and humankind was forced to succeed ground little by little. Eventually all buildings, all colossal achievements of the human population, were reduced to cinder. The massive and sudden destruction of infrastructure proved a challenge that many could not adapt to, thus billions of lives were lost from secondary effects like starvation and disease. And so now people, once the pinnacle of evolution on the earth, lie crippled and scattered amid their former kingdom. Mathematics, art, science; within the mind of each human being, these concepts are overpowered by pervasive fear and hunger. Truly, everything changed when the fire butterflies attacked.

Because we all know that forging a Pokemon using the scientific tools of humankind will have no unforeseen consequences whatsoever. *cough cough Mewtwo cough*

And I was just beginning to admire how the Funsubstance community refrained from commenting any ideological biases. Anyway, since you, guest, put so much effort into this comment, I feel I should provide a few devil's advocate questions. 1) How does the non-belief in a god mean no one is watching? Is society only ambivalent to the actions of atheists? 2) Why does nothing matter? Does atheism suddenly automatically mean nihilism? 3) Why is the universe any more mundane and simple to an atheist?
To be perfectly honest, I feel as thought the arguments you have lain out are just vague enough to fill a straw man.

Oh yeah? Well I once woke up in the morning with the most apocalyptic headache you can imagine. So I called my son over and had him use his massive double-sided ax to cleave my forehead open. When he does this a female being of unfathomable power and fully adorned in hefty battle-armor emerged from the gaping wound. I am Zeus, father of gods and men!

But that shouldn't discourage you. I mean sex gives you the same results – or so I'm told.