(Sad face) I don't have boobs.

-*fucks you*
-*cums*
-k, were done, get out.

At least he cared enough to do that.

"Most effective way to make mashed potatoes"

THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HERR

......are you sure he's not part of The Entertainment?

Classic Ellen.

I'll probably forgot that I wrote it down.

This is truly accurate. I've never seen anything so well described about knowledge.

It's not hashtag... It's the number sign....

"Only in my dreams"
-Leonardo

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on yet?

.....If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
http://m.funsubstance.com/fun/78533/this-one-time-at-dinosaur-camp/

Now whenever I touch soap, I think of this, and I feel like a perv.

THIS IS WORSE THAN THE-THING-WE-DO-NOT-SPEAK-OF

That's a fuckton of bird food. We'll be using the fuck the system from now on. 1 fuckinch=1 fuckfoot, 1 fuckfoot=1 fuckyard, and 1 fuckyard= 1 fuckmile. Because fuck the system. (PS: Also applies to weight) (PSS: If you use this system...you're winning the internetz)

Most interesting Dog in the World.

I'm just sitting here, waiting for the stalactites to fall down on the person, and then I realized this isn't a gif.