Oh leftforbed... you need to know when to leave well enough alone. At first you looked snarky and clever, then you blew it.

Its odd how the owl runs over, then looks off to the side, starts going that way, then jumps sideways. Like "Oh hey, I think I'll take a walk over there... NOPE!"
Humans think they're so smart pulling that kind of trick.

But would it be that you're still gay, if your gay got away?

Shutter Trolling

It would have been totally awesome if the entire class had followed his lead.

You don't have to worry about picking which family you spend the holidays with, because there is only one family left, marriage harmony!
Modern solutions to age old problems.

You grew a ball for me!
My pug once found a cherry tomato on the floor and thought it was a ball. She played with it for a while picking it up and throwing it for herself until she bit too hard and it squirted her. She reacted like it stung her, she spit it out and backpedalled across the floor to stare at it from behind a chair. She eventually got up the courage to circle it and give it a tentative lick. Seeing her come to the realization that this thing was both a ball and FOOD was priceless, I wish I'd had a phone that could record video back then. She was so excited when she saw people with salads after that.

Plus three square meals a day, clothes, a place to sleep, showers and bathrooms, a library...

Actually there was no "man" in any of those percentages. I just picture a piece of pizza floating in a small fish-tank with googly eyes stuck on it, hung with a gold chained medallion that reads "swag". And the question remains, how did this thing type a tumbler post?

This is the Frome Hoard, you can look it up on Wikipedia. Basically the finder did the correct thing and notified archaeological authorities of his find so it could be properly excavated and preserved. By British law treasure defaults to the crown, but once a treasure find is evaluated a museum can offer to buy it, and if the offer is excepted the money gets split between the finder and the owner of the land on which it was found.

What if someones rambling free-association scribbling got posted to the internet and we were all subjected to it.

Yes, in fixed images things that are pointed at the observer remain pointed at the observer no matter what you do. It's actually rather amazing when technology makes this NOT true, with holograms or VR headsets.

The gangster life has chosen a new avatar.

Where did they get those greens from? If they got them from my cousins "all organic" farm up in Humboldt I think I might know what's going on here.

and yet if there is a single ice-cube in a glass it will want in my mouth.

It was a sample kit, probably in an unmarked box. I'd love to watch those teen thieves when they opened it up and saw dozens of dildos and stuff they have no idea about. Not exactly things they can fence... might expand their horizons some though.

Poor guy got swagged, you've got to be careful carrying around toxins like that. Shooting him would be a mercy now.

If he was in SF he'd make a good amount by adding the Flying Spaghetti Monster.