Much envy. My kids during nap time would fight The Sleep every step of the way and then when they finally went under would wake up again at the sound of a cat yawning or the single click of mouse button. Future generation of mothers and fathers hear me; you will never know the true meaning of hate until after weeks of sleeplessness and utter soul numbing boredom you hear another parent say of their three month old "Oh, my child sleeps three hours or so in the afternoon and they drop off to sleep anywhere really quickly."

You see that big pipe with the wheel on it that's dividing the toilet and sink? That's the pipe and wheel you're going to forget about and hit your knee on when you've done a pee at 3am and turn around to wash your hands. That's the pipe and wheel that's going to have towels hanging off it two weeks after you move in because it's just there and on top of the towels will be a paperback book or magazine that someone is keeping there to read next time they poop. That's the pipe and wheel your wife is going to ask to be removed because it's in the way all the time and you're going to say "but it's a feature!" even though you've got a permanently bruised left knee and you keep losing your place in the book you're reading because your family keep drying their hands.

When you stop and think about it all cups are portable whether they are shaped like a leaf or not.

This doesn't really reflect the causes of world hunger and just makes it look like some dudes are just simply eating everything while other people starve. Some other (more important) causes are climate and weather as well as poor investment in agriculture. Another one is of course war and displacement. All of those were the main cause of the famous Ethiopian famine in the 1980s that led to the charity supergroup Band Aid as Ethiopia had drought and zero investment due to civil war.

For a moment there I was going to get a regular desk from Staples but then I realized I needed a massive bus cab in the corner of my house to hold my laptop and computer on. My wife came home and said it needed to go in the other corner. Now I have to refurbish the other half of the cab. D'oh.

Anyone else thinking this white girl and Starbucks thing is just as racist as any other ethnic stereotype? Swap out "white girl" and "Starbucks" with "black man" and "fried chicken" and see how well it still fits. I just don't think racism is cool who ever it's aimed at.

"Darling" comes from the Old English "deore" which meant "precious, valuable, costly, loved," from West Germanic "deurjaz"and the Old English adverb use of gradational variant of "lang" which meant "long". So "deorelang" (darling) meant a "loved long" or "long loved".
"Minion" is 16th century variant on the Old French "mignot" which originally meant "dainty" but came to mean "dainty, pleasing, favorite", again after the 16th century.
So I'm not sure this post may be considered entirely accurate.

Not one to jump to the Disney Corporation's defense with their "Disney logic" but I think the story about her losing the slipper is rather older than Disney itself. The earliest version is considered to be Rhodopis, first recorded by the Greek historian Strabo in the 1st century BC although the story may be as old as 6th century BC. In that version she takes her slippers off because she has to wash some clothes down by the river and she doesn't want to get them wet and a bird swoops down, picks one up and then later drops it into the the Pharaoh's lap. He sees this as a message from the god Horus and vows to marry the person who fits the slipper.

Here it is in one easy to copy and paste montage of what a Kinder Egg is and why they are banned in the US; Kinder Eggs or Kinder Surprise are chocolate eggs that originated in 1962 in Argentina but are now manufactured by Italian company Ferrero worldwide. The chocolate eggs contain a further yellow plastic container inside which have inside them a random toy which has to be assembled using the instructions (my favorites as a kid were a little biplane and a car that had a fly wheel inside so that it kept going and going and going after it was pushed). They are labelled as suitable for children who are 3 years plus because they contain small parts which are a choking hazard. They are banned in the US because of (1) the Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act of 1938. This Act prohibits the embedding of non-food items completely enclosed inside food items and (2) the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) who claim that the toys are a choking hazard for small children. So there you go.

Genius.

In case you were wondering it actually comes from "shuttle", Middle English shotil for dart or arrow and "cock" the Middle English cognate with dialectal German Kocke, a heap of hay or dung or Old Norse kǫkkr, lump. A dart lump or an arrow heap if you will.

When I was nine I worried that World War III would kick off and everyone I loved would die in a thirty minute nuclear war between the USA and the USSR.

His paneled walls look like book shelves full of sausages. One must always have plenty of sausages for second breakfast.

Honey is the only natural substance that does not grow bacteria.

If you think about it you can "lift" something up and you "lift" something down, but if you "elevate" something it means you only raise it up and you need another word to describe the coming down part.

You didn't hear this from us but what you should have done for real results is replace the sword with a Kinder Surprise Egg - U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

I not American so I don't know when the letter D was the abbreviated term of "Dick" but it's popped up on the internet for a year or maybe three now. So I'm going to say it's a fairly recent trend and as such you only really have yourselves to blame. Yes I'm looking at you, the current generation of immature penis lovers. There are over a hundred slang words for penis to choose from but some fool chose to add to this with the letter D and everyone went with it. The letter D. The fourth letter of the alphabet. Did no one realize it's be cropping up a fair bit for the rest of your lives? Really should have thought it through. If this were an exam I'd give everyone a D.