For me some of these range from "really cool" to "items in a catalogue for people with physical or mental impairments". The devices for getting a your key in the keyhole, pouring a pot of tea, the beer mug that you can tilt to get "frothy" and "not frothy" beer and the shield that goes over your fingers so you don't cut your fingers off while slicing onions all fall into the latter category.

Might just be me but they look hideously large and ugly and can be replaced with a simple power strip which also has the advantage that when you want to move the power strip you can and doesn't involved having to hoist the bed up in the air like Superman lifting a truck while trying to kick it free with your foot.

I don't know, they say it's designed for humans but look at the size of it compared to the woman on the stage. You've got to have a bus or something to carry it around. I think it's designed for ice giants or for really reach people who can afford to have a team of contractors put up some scaffold or something so they can use it.

I think the blue stars don't log out. Ever. You go away for a week and don't post your stats drop faster than Sandra Bullock in "Gravity".

In other breaking news Daniel Radcliffe isn't actually a real wizard and Patrick Stewart "hasn't got a f*cking clue" on how to captain a Federation star ship.

The guys must have been like "Today we are going to practice a tactical breach on a train, yes?", "Er, sir, it's my understanding that no one has taken a train since the 1880s?", "No, One-Eyed-Bart took one in Toy Story 3, isn't that right sir?", "Look guys, we're going to practice a tactical breach on a train, okay?", "But sir, who takes a train? 'We're hijacking this train, I want you to take us to ... the same place we were going before I hijacked the train.", "Just do the frigging exercise okay?".

It was pretty much fifty fifty whether the Brits called Autumn Autumn or whether they carried on calling it Fall too. Before the 16th century it was called Harvest and Fall took over for a while during the height of emigration to North America in the 16th/17th centuries before the Revolution. Just so happened Autumn won out on one side of the Atlantic and not the other ...

I want people to go to Mars I really do. But everyone knows what the Olympics is and there's a medals and parties and as a "whole planet event" it's pretty awesome even without the cynicism about the corporate sponsors. I think the Olympics does the planet Earth good. I think the fact the Olympics only stops happening when World Wars break out makes them a good thing to continue to happen. People love the Olympics. I think perhaps you need to stop thinking about the Olympics and start looking at world banking profits. When was the last time a bank held an awesome world planet party with fireworks and volley ball and sh*t? And yet they "earn" billions in profit every year. Or oil companies. Ever look into that? What I'm saying is the Olympics we kind of get something from (even if it's just the volleyball) but yet there are billions of dollars out there that we don't get sh*t from as planet global village society, so maybe go for them instead.

In case you were wondering "how come it's so small?", the root system is 9,550 years old, the trees that sprout from it "only" lasts 650 years before it falls over and grows another.

David Tennant was the first actor to use Tchaikowsky's skull in a live performance in 2008 (26 years after it was left in his will) because previous actors and directors felt uncomfortable. The Royal Shakespeare Company revealed to the press that they would no longer use the skull as it was a "distraction" during performances but this was a deception and kept on using it.

My gran who is in her late nineties said Britain giving up the empire was the best thing that ever happened domestically because it focused thinking towards home and afterwards working class people in Britain could get access to free health care, social housing and funds for higher education etc rather than the political classes focusing on trying to manage a world empire left to them by her forefathers. She'd have happily traded in the empire earlier for a box of PG Tips tea.

This is as close as you will ever be to a nuclear explosion - This GIF sadly does not take into account my time working on nuclear submarines. Ah, no will know until it goes unclassified in the 2064 or so. Yeah, so this is the closest I will ever be to nuclear explosion. I can go with that.

It's not the carbon monoxide that gets you, it's the morning breath. I don't know when morning breath kicks in because it's there often well before morning, but I reckon it's sometime after the minty scent of toothpaste wears off. So about forty minutes after you've brushed and gone to bed. Seriously at some point in your life you're going to be madly in love, really into someone, worship them even, wake up the next morning next to them, thank your stars that you're so lucky and say "honey, let's do it!" but with the agreed understanding that there's no kissing because you've both got morning breath and are too lazy to get out of bed and brush your teeth. You're like turning your head to one side while you talk in case your morning breath puts them off. You're going to be talking to the wall with the one you love because of this. It will happen.

Well technically what we call science was called natural philosophy until only the last couple of hundred years and in fact the word "scientist" was proposed by Englishman William Whewell in 1833 (he said there was art and artists so why not science and scientists). Funnily enough the word scientists was slightly shunned by the Victorians as they thought the word was a vulgar Americansim, which is quite amusing. However astronomy comes from the ancient Greek and is a discipline that was thousands of years old by the time the word "scientist" was invented so unless you've got a time machine it's impossible for someone to come up with the word skyentists for astronomy .... Come back! I've got loads more fun stories ... I'm so lonely....

Two of these people have had plastic and dental surgery (can you guess which two?) so this is going to happen to you when you stump up some cash.

Even Harry Potter incurred penalty points to Gryffindor. Never fear posting something or saying something because you might incur down votes. You might get loads of down votes for saying something you hold to be true, but so what? You might learn something about the Funsubstance audience or you might learn that your view isn't shared by all (because people are strange and weird) or even that you're being an idiot (sometimes this is a good thing, other time see the bit about other people being strange and weird). It's only down votes. It's not a review of your whole character, your personality, your worthiness to exist and your tastes in television shows. Maybe the last one.

Anyone who forms a "deep respect" for a country after they went to a football match and liked the hatred chants is an idiot. Go to Scotland, see its landscape, see the architecture, read the history, marvel at their inventors, read their authors! Football chants, what a ned.

Being an adult with small children in the house means never having a normal sleep pattern. That time when you have to adult harder than you've ever adulted in your entire life. No sleep pattern for you, ever. Go figure.

But I've seen reflections and pictures of other people and they look very much like they look in real life...

One theory is that this dates back to Roman conquest of Gaul (modern France). The Latin for rooster is Galli and a person from Gaul was called a Gaullia. That said my roosters make a run at me expecting me to drop their food early or something but if I turn and face them down they suddenly veer off like they always intended to inspect that bush over there.