The tide-pod thing wasn't even a real thing until news networks made a big deal about it, at first it as literally just an internet JOKE

I thought it was Alfred Hitchcok

that's his clone spouse

You all are stressing me out!

I hate stories like this, they hurt inside.

Something similar was in the book IT, one of the children, after he had grown up, was heading back to Derry from Texas and did this due to needing to be sober on his flight yet wanting a hard drink- took a heavy shot of whiskey(?) then squeezed a lemon wedge so it went up his nose. While he had red drunk-looking eyes he was sober as a rock.

Add some milk and butter to mine please.

Reminded me of the vampires from Scooby Doo and The Legend of the Vampire

this makes them stupid-funny rather than clever-funny

because Millennials aren't buying enough homes, because lazy