I already knew all of those. Except for Number 3.

I'd hit it.

I want my mommy right now.

When you're 38 and single. WYD?

Bitch. Please?

They actually look half decent when in their natural habitat.
https://i.redd.it/7g22muud7vr21.jpg

I'm looking at YOU, Denis Leary!

"WOW, rude" she says to a girl that she just randomly contacted and basically called fat.
Who's rude??

With my Italian heritage and Roman honker, I'm def top right.

Woke.

Koala is life.

This girl is on fiyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I think he's been coming downhill and had a brake failure.

Awesome work! Keep kicking goals.

Story about my mum and I playing Trivial Pursuit...
I roll. Land on green (Science and Nature).
Mum asks 'What do peacocks mate with?'
Me: Ahhh, other peacocks?
Mum: Haha, No, try again.
Me: (thinking they must have some biological reproductive quirk that I've never encountered)... Ahhh okay. Their tongue??
Mum: (Cackling by now) Nooo! It's a peahen!
Me: Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhh

Smol dad

Ah yes, I remember Christmas 2017 well.

How much he want?

This chick looks like my next GF.

I'm a poor choice...

Then why is she sitting under that cat?

big doggo can do whatever the fuck he wants