Wait, you rented Titanic...WITHOUT ME?!

This is why I carry bubbles at all times

Day 19: She still thinks I'm part of her head. The cat grows suspicious.

I love how theres a pen and paper in front of the phone

I need to meet this man and insist that he bumps my fist

Ice skating, like a gentleman

Obviously the second guy on the left, just look at those socks and shoes

Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with grass cylinders

And put it in an envelope of 100s

I don't know if I should be impressed or...no, I'm just impressed

Calm down Satan

I'm actually allergic to exercise, my face gets red and sweaty, and I have trouble breathing.

Queen will always be Queen

*fakes own death, no one comes to funeral*

Still too fucking big for a phone

A headline I never thought I'd read

My mom and my dad are 10 years apart, and I have always found that a little weird. But 30 years together and still going strong, so it works

Some notable things:
-Someone had to put the stilts on the ants
-Someone wanted to do this just to prove that ants count their steps
-Someone had to fit the stilts to the ants
-Someone knew this was the best way to find out if ants count their steps
-Someone first had the theory that ants count their steps
-Confused ants

A lie we all tell ourselves

Quick! Before the portal closes!

I admit, I didn't know this

My internet went out for 10 minutes so I went downstairs and met my family. They seem like nice people.

Wow, havent seen the troll face in a while