Is that Ax in the pic?

Elite Dangerous has this! You can enable "Pre-Flight Checks" which gives you a rundown of all controls (forward, back, fire, deploy gear, etc.) whenever you take off.

Didn't it play catch with students on the shore? No way that thing wasn't magic in some way.

If the astronaut was using a soviet crew module, then they wouldn't even need to come back to earth, since they all come with rifles in the landing craft. Officially, the reason is in case the capsule lands in a wilderness area where hostile wildlife (bears, wolves, etc) could be a threat to the crew while they wait for rescue.
But we all know it's really because moon ghosts.

Stellaris players can just jump off the cloud and go to hell. The eternal torment will be over faster than getting forgiven by the hundreds of trillions of filthy org... innocents you killed.

If you die after sitting somewhere while completely conscious for 18-24 hours, you had to have had some other preexisting condition. If not, I strongly discourage international travel.

"Do you guys wanna be your own boss,work from home, and choose you're own hours? Boy do I have the business venture for you! If I could just have 20 minutes of your time..."

Oh my god.
He's an Elcor.

Or high scores.

Shh! Stop complaining about the square burger, it's 21% more burger per burger compared to a circle!