— Aphelion Report User
Fisoloffe 3 comments
aphelion · 11 weeks ago
Some times you just do be Day.
Necromancy is also a great way to make new friends 2 comments
aphelion · 14 weeks ago
hurr durr
Big Brain Time 3 comments
aphelion · 15 weeks ago
He's out of line, but he's right.
Sigmus maximus 5 comments
aphelion · 16 weeks ago
If you go by what Know Your Meme says, it's unlikely that he is real, and is more likely an amalgamation of other body builders and models edited together.
That's too heavy 1 comments
aphelion · 17 weeks ago
1995 was a dark day for the future of Miles.
Romanum imperium 2 comments
aphelion · 19 weeks ago
"Rome wasn't built in a day"
"But that one was built in a night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
Haha you are being detained 1 comments
aphelion · 20 weeks ago
The guy on the right looks like if Markiplier and Jacksepticeye had a kid.
2 · Edited 20 weeks ago
But it is not this day 1 comments
aphelion · 21 weeks ago
This post brought to you by Internet Explorer.
The Domestication of Animals, 13 comments
aphelion · 21 weeks ago
Two to the left here, or swap the horse and the hare. Or don't, I'll eat the horse to get to the hare if I must.
Absolut Legend 4 comments
aphelion · 27 weeks ago
As a wise man once said:
"God himself could come down from heaven and tell me it's pronounced "jif" and I'd just say "sure thing, whatever you say Jod " and then walk backwards into hell."
I guess you're free to go 7 comments
aphelion · 31 weeks ago
So what should you say?
Cat vs Cheese Slice 9 comments
aphelion · 32 weeks ago
Leaving the circle to instantly become a Blood Mage #JustDragonAgeThings 3 comments
aphelion · 32 weeks ago
The Maker smiles upon us.
Dank Andraste memes among us.
War crimes *ticks list* 6 comments
aphelion · 33 weeks ago
Mildly NSFW meme 2 comments
aphelion · 33 weeks ago
Wasn't that literally a joke in Parks and Rec?
Union of Soviet Starving Republicans 8 comments
aphelion · 35 weeks ago
I wonder what came first; the association between red and gold, and hunger, or the prominent use of those colors in food advertising.
This could be tested by running the "which colors are associated with hunger" test on a population who has never been introduced to any marketing that uses those colors, but finding those kinds of people must be pretty difficult at this point.
When Mr steal-yo-gf is hustling your girl 7 comments
aphelion · 36 weeks ago
5 hours to travel the distance.
5 months to retrofit the train to successfully travel 360 km on a *road*.
5 years to fix the potholes it causes in the road after it's passed.
Australian army in the European theater of WWII 12 comments
aphelion · 37 weeks ago
It's a slow as balls, basically invulnerable, 152 mm howitzer, running on treads and dreams.
It was designed to be a a strategic bunker buster, traveling along with a pack of faster KV-1s, but in practice its tectonic speed led to it being quickly decommissioned as the Germans just kept incidentally outmaneuvering them and either capturing them, or destroying them with point blank (in some cases literally) artillery fire.

For the record, at the time, 152mm barrels were normally only seen on naval ships and the occasional "fuck-everything-WAY-over-there" artillery piece.

They have a range of other issues, such as their gun being so heavy it could only actually be rotated while the entire tank was on level ground because the rotor couldn't actually LIFT it up its own bearing, but despite that there's an entire generation of people who crap themselves when they see its iconic profile after being conditioned to fear it from way too many war thunder tank battles.
3 · Edited 37 weeks ago
Australian army in the European theater of WWII 12 comments
aphelion · 37 weeks ago
Do you think that was intended or...
The turret's still turning! Run!
Food, how do they work? 9 comments
aphelion · 41 weeks ago
Technically, it's a quiche, since most don't have edible floors.
Warcraft 3 deforged :( 1 comments
aphelion · 48 weeks ago
My poor, top range, pc, sobbing trying to run TESIV Oblivion and its 110GB of mods.
Brace yourselves 3 comments
aphelion · 48 weeks ago
971,481 Likes, 12,840 Dislikes.
[Comments are disabled for this video]
4 · Edited 48 weeks ago
Photoshop's been the new god around 10 comments
aphelion · 49 weeks ago
And before that, corsets and bustles.
Wait, women can be aggressive too? 4 comments
aphelion · 50 weeks ago
Far from a full list, but (according to wikipedia), 1 war was started during Thatcher's term in office (the Falklands War), and a LOT of wars were started during Queen Victoria's term in office (I counted 46, and I have no idea what most of them are).
Men invented wrestling to normalise hugs 6 comments
aphelion · 50 weeks ago
Isn't one of the selling points of most navies and some armies "travel the world and experience other cultures"? I swear I've seen that used unironically in ads and by recruiters.