Aphelion

aphelion


— Aphelion Report User
Moon's Haunted 1 comments
aphelion · 5 days ago
Neil kinda sus.
1
The Cave at night is big and bright also at night 6 comments
aphelion · 5 days ago
The second one's doing it for me.
I think it's the shadows being inside the "sockets."
1
Clop clop motherf*cker 4 comments
aphelion · 1 week ago
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!
It’s that time again. f*ck 4 comments
aphelion · 2 weeks ago
Yes, but no.
4
Let's fokus om something else 5 comments
aphelion · 3 weeks ago
What are these colours?
It should be green, blue, red, based on the legality.
3
Unprocessed Jello 1 comments
aphelion · 3 weeks ago
A CPU is just a rock we electrocuted until it was tricked into thinking.
Like father like son.
2
It is 2 comments
aphelion · 4 weeks ago
No homo but that sounds about right.
2
It's teaching him! 2 comments
aphelion · 4 weeks ago
You think that tuition is free? Nah bro, you pay it in hip bones.
Flacon Heavy’s 27 Merlins 6 comments
aphelion · 4 weeks ago
Starship is set to have 41 Raptor engines. It's going to be glorious.
Where do I sign up ? 13 comments
aphelion · 4 weeks ago
\[T]/
Saw this in farmer's market today 3 comments
aphelion · 4 weeks ago
Stephen Hawking tried throwing a party for time travelers by setting up a big party and only inviting people after the fact.
It was a sad party.
1
Never apologize 7 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
Inevitably, no matter the context, when lamas with hats is shown:
Caaaarrrrrrlllllll





sobs
1
I agree with the old man that is bullshit 10 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
Just a heads up, you don't actually need a QR scanner. As long as the OS on your phone is recent within a couple years, you should just be able to point your camera app at the code and receive a prompt.
How Much OwO Can You Handle? 5 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
senzawa and dakooters are the greatest cringe meme channels to grace this mortal coil.
1
Four little goblins 2 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
One little goblin shook up the ground.
His arms raised high came a guttural sound.
To the dark lord his friends souls did he arraign:
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Wigglebooty.Dll not found 1 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
Ahh, I see you're using an outdated runtime.
Please uninstall and replace with posteriorgyration.exe for improved results.
1
The man is savage 7 comments
aphelion · 5 weeks ago
Got me curious so I went digging:
The original seems to posted by @decentbirthday on twitter, and based on how they posted the original screenshots, they were each captured individually shortly after being received and promptly posted. The two tweets were actually just over 7 hours (3am - 10am) apart and amassed a combined total of over 150k retweets and 1M likes.
Based on how twitter operates, this becomes satisfyingly believable, but yes the combined format they were posted here (and in many, MANY other places) can make it seem like a bad fake.
2
Better title 1 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
Top half of the suit.
Terrifying.
2
"as punishment" 3 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
Usually that money is expected to be returned in the form of the fine. The issue is the fines are standardized, while the crime can vary and exceed the fine. Since they're not "stealing" the money directly, it doesn't count as theft and typically can't be easily quantified how much was obtained through illegitimate means.
4
Someone's open-mouth chewing, and I must scream 12 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
Misophonia IS a disorder since it implies an EXTREME abnormal reaction to certain sounds. Anyone can be made uncomfortable by certain sounds, just like anyone can become uncomfortable by being locked in a closet or seeing pictures of the deep, dark ocean, but people with misophonia will tend to have a reaction along the lines of triggering fight or flight response which they tend to have trouble resisting action upon.
3
Did you know this brehs 1 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
I really wish it would distinguish between c and f in this. -50 is believable on both scales, and while 60 would be relatively comfortable in f and deadly in c, they ARE talking about the virtues of the insulation so for all I know it could actually be an oven.
1
Kids 5 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
um, if the kids are spotify, do they have their cousin suspended by a rope?
1
Sounds kind of awesome 17 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
Credit where it's due, this is a copypasta.
redd . it/5ipinn

Decoy Snail.
2
Sounds kind of awesome 17 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
And then I board a ship. A fast ship. I accelerate to as close to lightspeed as I can get, piloting directly away from the black hole with the snail inside. I want to be so far away and moving so quickly that the heat death of the universe would occur far, far before the snail ever reaches me, even on the fastest ship his freakishly clever little brain can construct.
So that's the way the universe ends. With nothing it in except for infrared heat, one hyperintelligent snail suspended in an inky void, and one human screaming away from it at .99C.
3
Sounds kind of awesome 17 comments
aphelion · 6 weeks ago
But I can't think in such a short sighted manner now. I'm immortal, and I need to think like it. Eventually, the sun is going to burn the earth to a crisp, and then that damn snail is going to be free. It might take him a few million years to land on something, but he'll do it eventually. And then he will construct a spacecraft and begin crawling towards me again.
What I care about now is lightcones and black holes. Earth's gotta go. Sorry whatever's left of humanity. We evacuate anyone still on the old planet, and use a gravity tractor to push Earth into a black hole. A nice, big one so that hawking radiation will take an incredibly long time to evaporate it away into nothing.
3