I’ve never stepped foot inside of a Toys R Us, my parents didn’t want me getting any ideas.

That all caps really shows their enthusiasm XD

I’d imagine it would be difficult to sleep while drowning

Meanwhile, I’m falling up the stairs because the instructions were unclear.

The only reason my brother and I ever shared a Netflix profile is because we watched the same shows, otherwise that just seems rude.

Oh thank goodness, I thought they’d murdered reggae Rapunzel.

Well, he’s not wrong.

I follow this account and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

I’m way too sleepy, my first thought was Iron Man’s butthole. I’m sorry.

That’s a much better response than I would have made. I’m actually jealous.

Sorcery

That took a turn, straight into some feels

I would do the plant thing, but no one trusts me with them. Not because I’d kill the plant, but because my family always assumes I’m cultivating poison.

My brother has actually done this, but with an iPhone.

I just provide commentary. The words “you shouldn’t do that to your dingle dangle, oh no” will ruin any boner inducing situation ever.