Well every time I ask for a tub of scratch at the grocery store, they're either fresh out or it's expired.

Dude, don't go in there.

There's one in the bed,
but she's nearly dead.
There's one in the shed,
and she gives great head!

For sure. You don't wanna end up the Yeti of his dreams.

for real

In the US, it is polite to tip when someone performs a personal service for you.

I don't envy them. I'm much better looking. What I don't like is that a computer programmer and his no-name wife can force their politics on the plebians in the form of a financial juggernaut.

The former.