He terrifies me

'No tiny human this mine'

Science fair project

Actually it's coral blue number-*whack*

Why? Because fuck you, that's why.

I don't see the problem

Yet

I'm 6'0 and trust me, it's no better when your jeans come up halfway up your shins.

*waits patiently for this to happen to me*

I just said it like seven times out loud in the middle of class. Then I realized I was wearing headphones. Fuck.

I read that in their voices

I don't see the problem. I see a great father and a monster.

Meanwhile I can't trick my sister into the bathroom so I can yell 'BOO' and scare her

Shit I can't do that

The homeless man and rock one. That guy deserved it.

I once slept for 18 hours, woke up, ate and peed, then I went back to sleep.

That is so cute he looks so snug

Ma'am. You seem to have left your face on my seat.

This makes my brain happy

Don't eat that banana

FOR NARNIA