Do you guys wanna see a Mexican Japanese girl?

FANGIRLING

Aight. So I was on a group trip to Alaska and we were hiking and found this wild blueberry patch. So most everyone was just sitting and talking or reapplying sunscreen, I was sitting on this rock covered in soft moss and eating the blueberries around me. The guide just sorta looks at me and says, "There's (my name), chillin' like a villain." I just wanted to share that.

Beats by Dr. Dre can be your service provider?

My brother.

He picked up chicks and then got laid.

I love her hair.

'What are you doing?'
Holding your neck so you won't get whiplash.
'What?'
Whhiippllaasshh.

At least it tried.

Same.

I feel terrible. My grandfather was given his order slightly different than what he ordered and kept demanding the right thing he wanted that wasn't on the menu. The waitress couldn't really understand him because I believe she couldn't speak English and only Russian. So the woman was put through a lot of pressure my grandpa was being a white supremacist about it. He's usually not a total dick about it. I apologize for all the waiters and waitresses out there.

That is... Interesting.

I see 6.

Alright little shits, it's story time. My 7 th grade science teacher always showed us Bill Nye videos during class. And during the intro, she would do 80's dances like the cabbage patch and the sprinkler. A year later in 8 th grade my substitute teacher for science was showing us a Bill Nye video and the other kids in my 7th grade class stormed to the front of the room and began the dance. The other kids just gawked at us. We were united once again.

I'm in Alaska, and we were kayaking past some trees. There were at least 80 bald eagles, both young and old, sprinkled throughout the trees.

Tony Miles- the grandmaster at English Chess.