Here to cast pearls of wisdom and BS in equal measure. Am I too late?

— CarbonTech Report User
Now you know 2 comments
carbontech · 3 weeks ago
All I see is Pennywise looking out of a storm drain. Fish should stay away, particularly those named Georgie.
Don't ever call me a clown ever again if you are not capable of this kind of banter 1 comments
carbontech · 3 weeks ago
Screencapped this cutting riposte for a rainy day.
Hissy enamel insensible 2 comments
carbontech · 4 weeks ago
So a guy named Pyne had a wooden leg? Checks out.
Don't smoke or speaker French 3 comments
carbontech · 5 weeks ago
Shouldn't the second message be French? What if a visitor doesn't understand English, but loves to practice his French everywhere he goes?
You want an international incident?
This is how you get an international incident.
Humorous disgusting inconclusive 1 comments
carbontech · 8 weeks ago
Braised veal vs habanero jerky, so to speak.
Worst-case hand-held robust 1 comments
carbontech · 9 weeks ago
In about 50 years, we went from Pong(sucking in my quarters as I sat at the bar in our local entertainment center) to Unreal Engine 5.4, pushing photorealistic videos rendered on the fly. During that half century, every incremental, minor improvement was bragged about by the developers and was greeted by consumers with the awe and excitement, that, the then cutting edge visuals, deserved. Such is the nature of tech. It only becomes laughably quaint and primative, when viewed through the lens of time.
Lawl 2 comments
carbontech · 9 weeks ago
Agree. Being successful doesn't equate to being famous. There's over 2700 billionaires on Earth, all "successful", but 99% aren't household names with well-known mugs. Without that photo putting her claim immediately into context, or at least a line naming them, she's just some unknown, random 20-something, complaining that her anonymous folks had very little to do with her definition of "success", making it absolutely meaningless to most viewers.
Receptive adult memorial 1 comments
carbontech · 10 weeks ago
Had a non-smoking buddy at work who tried this a few times, but soon stopped on his own, lol. It's funny just how much worse it looks, when a boss walks by and gives you a glance, to be standing there empty-handed, stealing company time vs stealing the same company time, while feeding a well-known addiction. Not saying it's fair, but perception is everything.
Holy toebeans big foot 2 comments
carbontech · 11 weeks ago
Dragster tires versus other cats' plain old touring ones.
Rancher shows his thanks to helicopter firefighting crew pilling water off his property 1 comments
carbontech · 11 weeks ago
I sometimes throw a lazy salute at garbage truck or snowplow drivers. Guess I've gotta get a horse and a flag now. Thanks for raising the stakes in the public servant appreciation game, cowboy.
· Edited 11 weeks ago
Presumed parted sour 2 comments
carbontech · 12 weeks ago
I rate your story 11/11 on the This Is Spinal Tap scale.
They are lerning 1 comments
carbontech · 17 weeks ago
"Baboons riding wolves come pouring out of the forest" is gonna be my next Midjourney AI prompt, lol.
Heres a game for you guys 33 comments
carbontech · 18 weeks ago
3 years late, lol. Just an FYI. The reason we all know about Florida Man is because of the state's Sunshine Laws, whereby arrest records are publicly accessible. Media, looking for funny/wacky filler, go to where it's easily available. Other states have their fair share of "Florida Men" but we don't hear about them as readily because of privacy issues. FYI OVER!
Anon witnesses a wolf 1 comments
carbontech · 18 weeks ago
Cart before the horse. In the days before mankind had domesticated wolves, no one with any survival instincts would have just unthinkingly given some pats to a large furry predator that had sidled up next to them, no matter how good that stone age equivalent of a PopTart was. Imagine acting on an ingrained habit, that had yet to be formed.
It’s insane how beautiful life can be 2 comments
carbontech · 18 weeks ago
To each his own, but ketchup on a hot dog would be a lot of people's last choice. Then again, I come from a place where sauerkraut is considered an essential topping. One that I always have to specify I don't want. BTW, I'd much prefer your version, ketchup and all, over a sauerkraut drowned one, lol. Bon Appétit!
I nearly spit out my coffee 1 comments
carbontech · 18 weeks ago
A 2¢ Googly Eye, and 5 seconds of work, giving every viewer a moment of mirth. Thanks for the free endorphins, anonymous free endorphin-giver!
The spirit of this sign leaving its body 4 comments
carbontech · 19 weeks ago
Asked Google if speed limit signs are embossed, and this very sign appeared on an eBay link. Described as heavily embossed steel. So "mostly" flat, lol.
A high resolution photo a snowflake 4 comments
carbontech · 22 weeks ago
EXACTLY! Hence the "fun comment", where in what I wrongly assumed was an obvious attempt at ironic humour, I feigned ignorance of a factoid I, and every other 8 year old, knew over 60 years ago and have repeatedly heard a million times since, and now, a million and one times, lol. Oh, I'm also aware that snowflakes are more cold, than cool. Stay vigilant, lol.
A high resolution photo a snowflake 4 comments
carbontech · 22 weeks ago
Doesn't look like any snowflake I've ever seen before, but it's still pretty cool. Lol
1 · Edited 22 weeks ago
Banished there for all eternity 3 comments
carbontech · 22 weeks ago
The source code is easily found online and would not work, as is, on today's internet. It's certainly interesting, but about as dangerous as a picture of a raptor or a mammoth hide.
Stubborn pedestrian bustling 7 comments
carbontech · 23 weeks ago
She should have got some guys to do the catcalling, to more accurately simulate the experience of unwanted sexual advances. Having women do it just plays right into every guy's, "Dear Penthouse, I couldn't believe my luck..." fantasies.
2 · Edited 23 weeks ago
Should've brought a wooden gun 1 comments
carbontech · 28 weeks ago
Iron-too little is bad, too much is worse.
Resistance is futile 5 comments
carbontech · 28 weeks ago
Final exam must have been brutal.
Good times 1 comments
carbontech · 29 weeks ago
Canadian who started his aviation career working with British contractors. They learnt their trade under an apprenticeship system. One of their initiation rights was to send a newbie to the toolcrib to fetch a "long stand with a clip at the end". After being kept waiting forever, the newbie would finally ask what the delay was and the attendant would wave him close and tell him, "Well, you've had your long stand, now here's your clip!", as he leaned forward and boxed his ear.
EDIT: repeated the story, exactly as related to me by the contractors, but until now, after looking it up, never realized how actually violent boxing someone's ears could be. Then again, they used to punish kids that way, lol.
1 · Edited 29 weeks ago
Addicting Fox 1 comments
carbontech · 29 weeks ago
74 yr old man shot by 120 lb Rottweiler mix who accidentally triggered the shotgun propped up between the front seats of pickup, pointing at man. 3 broken ribs, punctured lung and broken collarbone. He got lucky. Who the f**k positions a loaded weapon, with the business end pointed at them? That's going to be an expensive gun safety lesson.