CarbonTech

carbontech


Here to cast pearls of wisdom and BS in equal measure. Am I too late?

— CarbonTech Report User
The personification of all today 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
"...and I got this one for keeping the others well polished."
2
Snap, crackle, pop 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Yeah, that's what they used to tell us, too, and the white mold on bad hash was opium, lol.
2
What happens if you leave your door open in Australia 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I remember this quote well,
"No one knows, incidentally, why Australia's spiders are so extravagantly toxic; capturing small insects and injecting them with enough poison to drop a horse would appear to be the most literal case of overkill. Still, it does mean that everyone gives them lots of space.”
― Bill Bryson, In a Sunburned Country
1 · Edited 3 years ago
The ultimate mail trifecta 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
The tension is palpable. One errant car backfire and all hell is going to break loose.
1
Around the 2:43:05 mark, it really gets going 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Talk about an impossible to get out of your head earworm.
Honesty ages well 6 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Plot twist: He has a room wallpapered with the guys photos AND the guy never actually lost that $5. This may not end well.
7
Pineapples are for when he's feeling kinky 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Me: No one is capable of being aroused by fresh fruit.
Also me: https://youtu.be/ntdvQqtksJQ
1 · Edited 3 years ago
Show some balls! 7 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
...bacon.
2
Steve 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
My wife and I know the names of at least 3 times as many dogs, as owners, at our local dog park. Could be 4. Priorities.
2 · Edited 3 years ago
Khabib had an interesting career 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Not a big fan of UFC, but glad that he found the time to create Parks and Recreation and Brooklyn Nine-Nine in his off hours.
I’m standing in Walmart and I honestly don’t know what to do here. What if it works 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Like living next to a KFC in the middle of summer, without the ability to get an order.
1
Blue waffle 53 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Old whore's breakfast
1
The face says it all 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
The movie was a bit of a letdown, but the series was amazing. His deadpan delivery of passive-aggressive insult after insult was hilarious, as were all the guests' contrived reactions while playing along. I wish he'd do some more of them.
2
Yep yep yep yep yep.... Uh huh uh huh 9 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
This is why I failed microbiology 101.
1
Yep yep yep yep yep.... Uh huh uh huh 9 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Colorized electron microscope photo of two covid-19 cells reproducing.
5
Get wrecked, little man 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Dominance established.
13
Helltaker is a great free short indie videogame on Steam 8 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Looks like a cheap Bic. The cap probably fell off at some point and thus began her unwitting art project. ( @picklefacejones Right you are. I looked twice and still missed it.)
· Edited 3 years ago
I'll take 'what?' 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
"Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfu**er, say what one more Goddamn time!"
2 · Edited 3 years ago
I BET none of you can 8 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
It's obviously a Black Mamba, attacking some indeterminate creature.
2 · Edited 3 years ago
What happens if you listen to the Beatles while painting 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Strawberry Fields by way of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds with a smidgen of The Long and Winding Road?
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Don't Fuk Wit da Roach 13 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Roach is the nickname of the local gang leader.
4
Why does Kevin Hart's mom look more like Kevin Hart than Kevin Hart himself? 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I asked the same thing about Trump's mom. I mean it's perfectly normal that you might look like either parent, but it's always funnier when it looks like the son's in drag.
4
Man grapples, wife draws 5 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
My English buddy told the story, about how he was on first date, when a pub brawl broke out. His petite date immediately picked up two mugs and put her back against his. I met her about 15 years after the fact, when he introduced me to his wife. A kitten with the heart of a lion, lol.
5