I'm sure they laughed while they were beating you.

I'd be more impressed if he was on a surfboard.

Yes, but do they lease or own?

Trainers? Sneakers? Oh, you mean running shoes!

Except you can't spell competent.

People line up for Subway???

Great, another post about introverts. Don't they ever shut up?

Homeless people aren't responsible enough to maintain a house; that's why they're homeless. Many would trash these places by ripping out the fixtures to sell for scrap to support drug habits. Haven't you seen what happens to welfare housing projects after a few years? It's not pretty.

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2009/01/01/batman-slaps-robin-the-origin-of-the-panel/

Maybe soap smells really bad to dogs.

Hope you don't sleepwalk.

Should've grabbed the big guy's crotch

If Yahoo! didn't have such a stupid name, people might use it more. Google sounds just a bit less ridiculous, but not by much.

Re-entry's gonna be a bitch, though.

What was the question?

Canadian Fort Knox

Obviously the dog can read because that's not a sofa, it's an armchair.

It's easy if you turn on only the cold water.

No eyelashes for Homer?