They should make those out of plastic or something, much safer.

I love seeing a field of dandelions because that's when you know it's really summer.

Or just don't wash your hands. Conserve water!

White women love telling us how we're being racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. I bet the word "problematic" gets used a lot in that office.

Universal healthcare is simply health insurance whose premiums are paid by a portion of our taxes. There's no deductible or co-pay and you can't be turned down for pre-existing conditions or any other reason. It's no more "socialism" than paying taxes for universal police protection, universal fire prevention, universal road system, etc.

He was getting married, so his life was over anyway.

Desensitize yourself. Imagine every possible scenario or outcome from the worst to the best over and over again for several days beforehand. Then go face your fear, you'll find it's nowhere near as bad as you thought.

I just dump my change in my pocket and sort it out later.

If I don't have a normal ass, is there a different door I could use?

The more peaceful tribes were accommodating when the first Europeans arrived and even helped the new settlers. It's only later that they came to regret letting the white man establish new and expanding colonies.

Is head lice still a thing?

Prepare for trouble, and make it double.

Like I need a mattress to remember all my embarrassments

Fox: (x) Doubt

'Cause I don't wanna drill a bunch of holes in the wall

Unfortunately, that's one of the ways we learn how to properly use technology.

Then your body will begin to thicken around its waist.

"Isn't that *your* job, doctor?"

For some people, job security is their number one consideration.

C'mon, he was gonna buy it all anyway.

That's 550 lbs per person. Since when does the U.S. use metric?

Time for a tea party, I guess.

They'll never go extinct as long as they're a food source.