The lesson: some people really hate magic tricks.

Ma'am, I think you've had enough.

Leaving the straps loose and unbuckled is probably not a good idea.

That's the Penguin today. Feeling old yet?

i didn't know they had Bigfoot in the UK

At that age, he's probably just maintaining the body he built in his youth.

He could do what she asked and still give her the bullshit motivational peptalk.

The guy with the second-made camera?

If you like store-brand cereal, you'll love this show.

...and can operate a forklift.

For all we know, we're fucking things up in the future all the time through inaction or minor decisions. One stray bullet in WWI would have stopped Hitler.

Nature doesn't care about orphaned penguins. Baby animals of all kinds get gobbled up by predators all the time without it affecting their species.

I wonder if the sauce tastes like maple syrup.

Maybe the guy just wanted to see what he would look like without the birthmark for once in his life. Don't make a big deal out of it.

I have an old magazine from 1960 with an ad selling .380 Browning automatic pistols by mail for $19.95 Of course you had to include a signed statement that you were over 21, never convicted of violent crime, not under indictment or a fugitive. Cause you can't be too careful!

See, that's why we need phone books to come back.

"I give up. Who is she?"

Yeah, you don't wanna see what a white seat would look like after a year or two.

"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!"

"I'll just have a short one."

The political opinions of the NBA were worth something?