so i dated this guy for a month short of two years, and I was the one who broke up with him for personal reasons. I am currently going through a lot of medical shit and my mental health isnt the greatest with the added stress of everything going on that normally would not be happening.
everything was about him, even after i explained why i needed to be alone and why i wasnt in the best place for a currently long distance relationship, it was about him and only him. His Friend left me with a lot of trauma, I didnt feel important to him, nothing i did mattered unless it involved him
i looked at his accounts recently to see if he was doing okay, he already seemed to move on
idk i just feel like i meant nothing more than someone to vent to for him

Considering you were in an almost 2 year relationship, I very much doubt you meant nothing to him. I don't want to say it's entirely your mental health but when your mind is in a bad place it can warp reality and make your perception very one-sided and negative. I think you were more important to him then you think, is what I'm saying. If you felt like you were carrying this relationship and you didn't matter to him as much as he mattered to you then I think it's a good thing you ended it. Regardless of who ends a relationship, you will still feel the sadness of a breakup. It may seem like he isn't feeling much on the outside but he's probably hurting a lot, for some people it helps to pretend like everything is normal as a way to cope with those feelings, do not let his external behaviour be a reflection of your relationship with him though. Your worth is decided by you alone. I hope you feel better soon and your medical procedures go well, try to focus on yourself. We're here for you

@parisqeen thank you, that really means a lot to me. My medical procedures went well but im still in a lot of pain from them (I had to go through a spinal tap with an already malformed spine and had to drill a hole into my head to relieve fluid pressure). I just wish he showed that i actually meant something to him, even when i told him what was going on he just would change the focus back to himself. even now, he's going on about this other person he's infatuated with and we've barely even been broken up for a month.
i do feel like i was a support system for him, and nothing but that, and thats why he kept me around

Ouch, anything to do with the spine would suck but regardless of the pain you'll only be getting better from here (that can also be said for you breakup). I'll share something that might help. When I was 16 I was in a relationship with someone who drained me, they were a fun person but it was like the humour masked the toxicity. I became a personal councillor more than a girlfriend and soon became dependent on the feeling of being needed. I would go home, tell myself I had to end it but once I started talking to them again that feeling would fade, I ended it eventually. I felt shit, I knew it was the right thing to do but I still felt awful and depressed and like you, they didn't show any sign of being hurt when I saw them. In fact they took it better than I did but even so, I learnt from that and it's taught me valuable lessons about the importance of MY value.
Relationships are "give and take" and if all he does or did was take then you have made a great choice to end that.

You will feel sad and possibly worthless but you shouldn't. If he didn't see you as anything more than a venting machine then you shouldn't give him a second thought. If it makes it easier, try to turn the sadness into anger and then let it out to a friend or a punching bag or scream it into the air. Then move on, you will reach a day where you wake up and you don't think about him negatively and the feelings have dwindled and you think "huh, that was a shit relationship now that I think about it but it's over, good for me". These experiences are important, whether they're negative or not you never walk away from something without learning from it.

@Parisqeen thats exactly how this past relationship felt, i feel like i was just a personal counselor for him to use when his friends wouldnt listen to him or give him the attention he wanted. I've been flipping between anger and sadness and i cant really just,, pinpoint an emotion??? theres a whole jumble of them. thank you for talking to me btw man

It will feel like a jumble for awhile, best thing to do is first accept it's over, remember the good and the bad times, then focus entirely on yourself and try to move on. It's hard but you'll get through it don't worry. And it's no problem at all, I'm happy my advice can help you in some way.