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princessmonstertru · 11 weeks ago
Ignore what other people say or do about the two of you. Stay together or don't, but do it for you, not them.
celticrose · 11 weeks ago
If he cares more about what other think than being with you, you are better off without him. People are always going to talk, if he can't handle it move on. Obviously he's not mature enough to be in a relationship so you can do better.
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
Dress up the way he likes, wear his favorite perfume, put on your best baby doll face and make his favorite meal- and then tell him that you acknowledge his feelings are sensitive, that he is a man who doesn’t go after what he wants, but let’s ofher people decide what he should do. Tell him that you deserve a man who doesn’t feel ashamed of you, and that other people made fun of you for dating him, but you are secure and mature enough to live your own life, and it’s ok that he is not. Then tell him he is free of the burden of having to suffer having you as a girlfriend, say “bye Felicia.” Then eat the meal as you walk away. That’s it. Tell him to go fuck himself and get a new man. Simply put, if you really think he’s worth it- you can give him another chance, but that’s up to you. I don’t see a point in telling him you get teased too- the fact you can or are willing to deal with it doesn’t mean he is, and having him stay because he feels guilty or pressured to live up to that isn’t...
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
.. the same as having him stay because he genuinely treasures you. We shouldn’t have to twist people’s arms or bargain with them, we show our value and commitment and they do the same, ultimatums, pleading and coercion are the signs of a failure from the start. It sounds like- without knowing your circumstances- that you both have an immature or toxic group around you. Start there, this time of next time. It’s real simple- they don’t have to like who you’re with and you don’t have to like their partners. You can respect time to hang out with your friends or whoever without your partner around but hey must respect that as part of your life, that person will be around sometimes and they will show them some gawd damn respect. To disrespect them is to disrespect you. And he needs to tell his people that. People will treat us the way we let them treat us, so set your boundaries and let your people know that they are fucking up your shit. This is your life, you want to be happy right? ...
scurvyknave · 11 weeks ago
Guest, I couldn’t have said it better.
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
... anyone good in your life will want you to be happy, so if your relationships aren’t toxic they will support them, or at least tolerate them without causing you problems. People that cause problems in your life are toxic people. You want people who help solve problems. Life and love makes enough problems on their own. So talk to your people, get a commitment he will talk to his, and talk to each other. It isn’t a hard rule of relationships that you need to always support them even when they’re wrong, but it is a hard rule that you stand up and look after the people you love. If people are giving you shit about dating each other they are pissing in your daisies and possing on your partner. Would you let someone piss on him? Would you want him to let someone piss on you (outside of kink stuff)? If you are ok with being dissed and letting others diss- maybe you should break up, because that shows you don’t have each other’s backs, and partners do because they care....
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
... I’m not talking about starting brawls over any short remark, but obviously this isn’t some little thing or it wouldn’t be weighing so heavy on your relationship that you feel it could be the thing that breaks you up, and if the thing that breaks you up is that he or y’all can’t stop or handle some teasing- that’s not a strong reflection on things. So you’ve got a few things to look at. You gotta look at your life and your people. Both of you. The fact that you both have people in your life dissing on your relationships is already a sign home needs tidied up. And you gotta look at your relationship. If he’s worth keeping, and you want to keep him, then talk to him. But don’t mortgage your self respect on him. Y’all are in the problem too- he’s out there letting himself and you get clowned to the point it’s breaking him emotionally. What’s that say? He doesn’t respect your name enough to stand up for it, or to weather some taunting to have what he wants- or doesn’t want bad enough...
memegirl · 11 weeks ago
Thank guest_
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
... and vice versa. If y’all can’t get respect from each other, or ask for it, how are you going to get your house in order for the next leg of your journey together or the next time you get in a relationship your people want to dump on? So if you decide it’s worth saving- I’d go to him, and I’d tell him what’s up. Tell him how you are to be treated. Like a gawd damn catch. Like a person he is proud to be with, and Unafraid or ashamed of. The mthr fucxking joy of his little world, an equal and a human being who deserves some respect. If he doesn’t respect you enough for that- if he doesn’t respect himself enough to get that from his people or cut their toxic asses out of his life- and vice versa to you, then he doesn’t need to be in a relationship, he needs to go work on him and get his shit straight before brining other people and their emotions for a front row ticket to the train wreck that is the life of a person without self value. You have value. You are a worthwhile person....
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
... own that. Live it. Be it. Wether you stay with him or not, make it your mission to express that, and starting this moment to start demanding that people treat you differently- treat you the way you should be treated, with respect. Those that don’t can get out to make room in your life for better people and worthwhile things like growing, learning, and passions. You can’t straighten his shit out but you can straighten yours. That’s the value of self respect. You have to trust your partner to handle their end of things, and a person with self respect will handle this shit. So if he has some self respect and you tell him what is up he will straighten it out on his end, and you will on yours. If not- you can’t really love someone if you don’t love yourself. You can feel love- but you can’t truly and maturely love a person until you love yourself- so you have to figure that out. Best of luck. If he doesn’t do his part- you’re better off without him.
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
@scurvyknave @memegirl- thank you. Sorry it’s an essay.
memegirl · 11 weeks ago
It is long but it has helped me
guest_ · 11 weeks ago
I’m glad. I’m sorry, the tone is a little harsh, and I know it is far easier to give advice on love than to follow it. There no right or wrong choices, just what is right for you and your situation- we simply do the best we know how to do at any given moment, and hope to learn and experience enough that next time we can think of a better way. Somwhatever you do, I wish you the best in it- I’m a big fan of love, so I hope things can work out, but if they don’t- the #1 promoter of growth in nature is adversity and discontentment. So for what it’s worth, it’s less about the circumstances we are presented and more about what we do- what we take away from them. If we make the best choices we can for a given moment, anything that happens is just a step closer to happiness and success. It’s just another step on a road towards figuring out things and finding what will really make us happy. Time is the hardest part. It passes wether we are doing something constructive or not, so make it count.
scatmandingo · 11 weeks ago
Out of curiosity what is it about you two that people would want to pick on you for dating each other?
amylakey420 · 11 weeks ago
If you guys truly like each other tell everyone else to f*ck off. Kids are mean but they have short attention spans.
sassypotter · 11 weeks ago
Surely what you and your partner thinks is more important than other people that barely have an impact on your life? No one is perfect but as long as it’s a healthy relationship and you’re both happy, then you shouldn’t let them affect you enough to end your relationship. Your boyfriend should love you for you, and not let others opinions damage your relationship this much
rosalinas · 11 weeks ago
Break up with him
People mock him for dating you but instead of standing up for himself and you, he feels ashamed
That's a red flag right there
sassypotter · 11 weeks ago
She’s right tbh
Everyone deserves someone that makes them feel amazing
Not someone who would rather hide you away
memegirl · 11 weeks ago
Amylakey420 i have been telling people to f*ck off but i guess he hasnt so im gonna talk to him today
amylakey420 · 10 weeks ago
If he is letting his friends get in his head like that then maybe he isnt the one for you. If he was truly confident in his feelings for you he would be on your side... or at least he SHOULD be on your side.