I will say this- what is and isn’t “aggressive” is largely cultural. Gender roles and courtship rituals are all very much social constructs, and where one woman might see it as an aggressive move to hold a hand on the first date, another may see it as aggressive if a man tries to go for a kiss. So some of it goes beyond culture to individual perspective. That said- if a man or anyone makes you feel uncomfortablewiyh agression- you’re uncomfortable. Period. What you describe, from my perspective is a touch beyond aggressive. Now I wasn’t there. I underatnd there are shades to things. There’s “I didn’t like it,” “I was u comfortable,” “I felt unsafe...” etc. so I won’t demonize him as you know him best and maybe you didn’t feel threatened or in danger from him as you know him, but you felt uncomfortable and that isn’t ok. The first and most important thing is to take care of your safety. Get out of the situation and to somewhere safe (which you obviously did,) but next comes...

..... confrontation. It’s important that you let him know how he made you feel. One of the reasons guys do this (and I’m not passing blame), is become many times women don’t hold them accountable. As you say- he laughed it off. Perhaps in his mind he really was being playful. To him it was just playful flirting. Maybe you laughed it off or let it slide too. Because it was uncomfortable, to spare his feelings, avoid awkwardness or anger. When you’re alone that’s not a bad starategy. Once someone has shown agression you want to play it safe. Don’t confront them alone because if they do get angry or react badly you are at risk. You also don’t want to do it in front of people as they may feel embarrassment or the need to “save face.” A public place like a square or food court is good. There are people close by if things go wrong but there is enough privacy to talk. Most people also are less likely to “make a scene.” But you do want to let him know that you felt uncomfortable. Try not to...

... make it about him or make him feel like you’re attacking him- just that you are telling him that is how you felt weather he meant it or not, and you don’t appreciate it and don’t want it or anything like it to happen again. Once you’ve made your feelings known a “good” man will respect them. To your original question though- guys are often aggressive because 1. People and society rarely call them on it. The penalties for being “too aggressive” are slim to none, usually the worst that happens is you lose an opportunity. But the penalties for being too meek are great. Men who are more meek are usually viewed as “less” in society. They aren’t considered as leaders, as partners. They are friends and underlings. Reliable and safe. Society builds a double standard in which men are prized for being strong, assertive, decisive, expected to make decisions and take charge, and if they don’t they aren’t considered as “real men.” Some men misunderstand this and take it too far. They feel...

... to live up to this they must succeed in every field and situation. They must always be the best, the winner, in control, and that since the both the prize for achieving and the value put on “men” is that men get what they want if they “seize it,” that their behavior isn’t as important as the results they achieve. To a degree this is reinforced to many men when they see guys “getting what they want” in films and media- even in real life, by acting selfishly. They figure that if these men behave that way and are held up as role models, are rewarded with wealth and celebrity and fans, that is how a man should behave.

As someone else said- men do have more of certain hormones that contribute to agression and sexual agression. A man has several times the testosterone level of the average woman. Not all men are like this. On the whole- in today’s society most men will likely be more aggressive than most women, but that’s changing rapidly and a lot of it is cultural. Men and women will likely always have to worry to some degree about such behaviors and I am sorry you encountered it. Be safe, don’t worry because there are sweet and good men out there who know how to behave themselves, and be safe. Also remember, be your own advocate. You have to speak up for yourself sometimes. You can’t expect change if you don’t. Eventually if people keep saying it enough times and loud enough most of society will get the message. That is how to establish boundaries and do your part to keep yourself and others from having to deal with aggressive men. It isn’t your fault though. Don’t mistake my words. It’s not...

And here I was thinking maybe this was a semi long term relationship. If it's the first time you met him then definitely GET OUT now. Alarm bells ringing, red flags everywhere. No wonder you were scared. Some stranger you barely know tried to confine you and pressure you into doing something you clearly didn't want to do.
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To actually answer your question: some guys are just entitled assholes. Most guys aren't.
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I knew a girl once who was with a guy who kept pushing her to have sex before she was ready to, to the point she was insanely rattled and feeling very miserable and harassed about the whole thing. She broke up with him shortly after. Not too long later she met another guy who was kind, funny, bit of a football. But most importantly he was willing to respect what she wanted. They've been together since then and it's been about 6 years.

... it’s just that life isn’t always about blame. Men are responsible for how they behave the same as anyone else. So by me saying that it’s important to be your own advocate I am not putting blame on you. It’s not your fault if lightening hits your home and it catches fire either, but it’s still good to have a fire extinguisher handy. You shouldn’t have to live your life responsible for the behavior of others, but we all have to take a hand in making sure we are treated the way we expect, otherwise people tend not to change. Best of luck.

Just realized my phone changed "goofball" to "football" in that last message.
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But, yeah, you have every right to feel upset, but no reason to feel upset at YOURSELF.

@guest_ sorry apparently I cut you off in the middle there :s

Haha thanks guys! I do need to speak up more and if I ever see him again (he’s in a friend group that I’ve only hung out with a few times), I will make it clear that I’m not interested.

@xvarnah- I apologize as well. I can go on sometimes, I don’t check between continuations because I try to get them up as fast as possible. I’m sorry to catch your post in the middle like that, but I’d say you did a succinct job on summing up a similar sentiment, so hopefully it isn’t egotistical to say I think you offer good advice!
@dash224- I’m glad the two of you aren’t very close, and it can make it easier when it’s not someone you must regularly encounter or someone you have a close bond to.

idk
but noone likes waiting that's for sure
and people get aggressive when they're impatient and frustrated
doesn't matter though, it's always a big red flag when someone tries to force you into shit after your serious "no"

@guest_ haha it's fine, YOU were the one posting first. I hadn't read your comments yet but thought you'd finished and instead I just swooped in in the middle. It's probably not a big deal either way, but it makes for bad continuity
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Tbh it looks like you explained it in better detail anyway. I was considering getting more technical and bringing testosterone into the mix for answering her question on a more biological level but wasn't sure how to word it without it sounding like an excuse so I left it to you. Also-- Whether it's egotistical or not I have no idea, but I take that as a very high compliment coming from you, so thank you :)

@dash224 as guest_ said I'm glad he's not someone super regular in your life. Either way, I'm glad you're not beating yourself up or feeling shitty about it. Some people will do anything to make you feel guilty when you don't give them their way and it can make you start questioning yourself and really mess with your head

So, I have PTSD from being raped. My ex was very aware of this from the beginning. When I got pregnant I was extremely sick the entire time. Morning sickness in an EVIL LIE. Literally I was violently vomiting every 20 minutes, as quickly as my stomach could produce bile, I was expelling it and then dry heaving for a good 10-20 minutes after that. It would finally ease off because there was nothing left, then 15-20 minutes later all over again, to the point of actually blacking out from the violence. MY ENTIRE PREGNANCY. Even with medication,now it it eased the actual vomited, but not the constant nausea. So obviously I wasn't exactly "in the mood". After about 2 months my ex started getting REAL pushy about not getting sex. He would even make about about how he'd been "understanding while I was so sick, but wasn't so bad so I shouldn't make such as issue" When I was about 5 month he made a serious hard push, actually trying to get on top of me and grabbing at me (cont)

Until my only recourse was to roll away OFF THE BED and onto the floor. It trigger major flashbacks and his response was to throw a holier than thou hissy fit about how I was so immature, and that is how relationships work and I should be willing to satisfy him at least occasionally. I was even told by a female friend that even if I didn’t really want to, I should at least give him a blow job or hand job, since that is just “what women have to do sometimes to make a relationship work”. Oh, and let me add, the hard pass he made, was literally 2 days after my grandfather’s funeral. Now, when he had issues getting it up due to meds and other physical issues, I never said a word about it, regardless of how “in the mood” I was, and again, that was something that was seen (in this case understandably) as a given. That’s just bullshit.

Why in the world did you throw away a gem like that...? (This is pretty much deep fried in sarcasm, just in case that wasn't abundantly clear).
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I understand people get frustrated sometimes, and there should be a bit of give and take in every relationship (please don't misinterpret this as: he demands sex, so give in! Not what I mean at all *), but there's goddamn times and places, and when someone is pregnant, violently I'll, and has a dead relative is never anything close to the time or place.

*My friend, who is male, has a wife with an extremely low sex drive (to the point I asked him once if she wasn't possibly asexual). I'm not going to go into any detail because, but It does get very frustrating for him sometimes, and he definitely wishes she'd put a bit more effort into it. It leaves him feeling frustrated, lonely, rejected, and very apathetic about the entire thing. So when I say a bit of give and take what I mean is, in this situation, I don't think it would be a bad thing for her to put a bit more effort into it.
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But the important thing here is, despite this, he would never ever grab her, pressure her, or try to force or guilt her. That's not a thing GUYS do. That's a thing assholes do. I imagine guys have been on the receiving end of that kind of nonsense, too, and it's ridiculous, traumatizing, and a breach of trust, and no one deserves to go through that

Oh yeah definitely. I didn’t mean to only target guys. Anyone can do it.

Oh no I wasn't implying you were targeting guys, I was just throwing it out there