What are you looking for in terms of edits? I can see some surface-level grammar and punctuation errors, but are you looking for larger content changes as well?

Yeah. It needs to flow more smoothly.

I think the very beginning is a bit stumbling. It might help to begin with a world introduction, rather than a character one. So give a tiny bit of detail about the world and customs, and then introduce the main character and current action. That way, you're not having to awkwardly fit too much background info in during the action. Think of the first chapter of The Hobbit, where we get details of the environment and culture before we even know the main character's name. Fixing that might help the overall narrative flow better.

Sorry forgot to mention this is chapter 10 lol

It is a bit stumbling... I have no idea how to make it smoother. The information is given all over the place...

Hm... Well, a chapter should be a bit like a mini novel in itself. It needs to have an overarching theme, otherwise why would the events be in a chapter together. This feels like you're still introducing a lot of information for a 10th chapter, but maybe not depending on the rest of it. On the second page you mention books about princes that he had read when he was younger. You could move that idea more to the beginning of the chapter and then weave it through the rest, comparing actual events to his expectations from the books, then end the chapter with "The books were... unrealistic." Everything after that feels like a new chapter and that's a great mic-drop line. If the ideas of the books and expectations are present from the beginning, it could help connect the chapter.

Also, you could probably do to get rid of some descriptions. Seems counterintuitive, but less is more when it comes to adjectives in fiction. Nothing particularly stood out as egregious, but it would probably help the flow to cut some of the descriptive words and instead focus on what's happening, what people are thinking and feeling.

Thanks for the feedback!!

Hope it helps! Often I only incorporate about 50% of feedback but it always helps me see other things I can improve. Best of luck!!

Yeah. In my previous draft of the book I’m currently rewriting, someone mentioned that a few of the characters weren’t tied to the plot.
That was a big turn around for me and I have made it far better ever since! :)

Would you like to read it in the whole @unicycle?

Sure, if you want to share!

@unicycle https://www.wattpad.com/story/165112101-shifting-flames-book-1-of-the-black-mancer-series