gaelicgirl · 10 weeks ago
I would have skidded off into the abyss if it hadn't been for therapy, I went to a therapist. No shame in getting some tools to help us navigate through this life.
maebubbles · 10 weeks ago
YES!! I have gone to a therapist for about 6 years now. Mostly just when I get super overwhelmed lately but yes. Do what feels right to you, be in face to face or online. I see mine in person and I actually really like mine. They’re a “no BS” kind of therapist so I get brutally honest answers which are exactly the type of therapy I need.
unicycle · 10 weeks ago
I am a therapist and see one regularly myself. It's helped me immensely, much more than just studying psychology. I recommend getting therapy in person or over Skype as online, chat-room type therapies just aren't as effective. But something is better than nothing and you should take on whatever you can manage.
parisqeen · 10 weeks ago
Plenty, only ever face-to-face for me. I need to be able to read the other person's facial expressions and they need to be able to see how my body language changes when I talk about certain subjects. I saw about 5 psychologists before I found one that was right for me, she is absolutely wonderful. She's a neuropsychologist/psychiatrist and is still pushing herself to learn and study so sometimes all we do is talk about what she's found and her research which is awesome. It's helped immensely, just being able to talk to somebody and hear my own words out loud is really important. You need to find someone who is right for you, some therapists have limitations on what they can provide for you so you might have to go through a few to find a good one but it's worth it. Without one I spiral into my own mind and get pretty darn depressed because I can't process and explore what's bothering me or how to cope with it. It's up to you but 100% they help me personally.
thekaylapup · 10 weeks ago
Finding the right therapist is super important. You also need to want help. You need to want to improve. You don't need to be good at it, you can have bad days, you can have bad weeks, but you have to want to improve. I was required by my legal guardian to go to therapy as a teen, and it never worked. I didn't trust my therapist, I didn't want to be there, and I didn't want to take someone else's word that their ideas about what was best for me were better than my own.
But when I finally wanted help. When I was ready to accept help, it mattered. It still took a couple tries to find the right therapist, but wanting help made that possible.
When I was a teen, I never once told a therapist even a bit of what was really wrong. I told them what I thought would help me. I told them whatever it took to get them to tell my grandmother that I was improving. And I stopped having to go and I got hella good at hiding my pain. But I was in no better place than where I started.
thekaylapup · 10 weeks ago
And I'm still living with the consequences of that. It's taken years for me to make doorways in my walls. And it's hard to trust people enough to let them past my doors. But the doors exist, and when I let people in the help me. They make my life better, and make it easier to open the doors to others.
But I couldn't have gotten to where I am now without some really amazing people helping me, and a couple of those people where therapists. So yeah, if you need help, there are some really excellent people in the field who have the power to help you change your life if you'll let them.
parisqeen · 10 weeks ago
@thekaylapup's words are so so true. I had a similar situation when I was a teen, I didn't like getting help so I thought all my psychologists were stupid and didn't actually want to help me, everyone was against me was my mind set. You need to let them in, you need to be honest with them and with yourself if you really want to improve.
thekaylapup · 10 weeks ago
Thanks @parisqueen
I do want to add that while, 100% honesty is ideal, it isn't a deal breaker. You need to be honest with your therapist, but that can come in steps. Today you can be honest about not being able to maintain a job because you are depressed, and next week you can be honest about the fact that you don't think you're good enough, and you can take a while to get to where you admit that you didn't fail because it was too difficult, you failed because you are afraid to let yourself be successful. You failed because more than anything you are afraid that if you do everything right and you obtain your goals you'll still be miserable and you are terrified of what you'll do if that becomes a reality.
I mean, if that's what's honesty for you. We all have our own secrets and insecurities. The point is, you don't have to be ready to tell your therapist everything to get help, you just have to be willing to make an effort.
karlboll · 10 weeks ago
Heck yeah, I have and it was needed to survive and be a (somewhat) functional person. I personally prefer Psychodynamic Therapy but there's a lot to be gained from just talking or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, though I usually recommend people to talk and figure out where they come from before they start modifying their behaviour. But yeah, therapy with a competent therapist is a lifesaver.
tcole3710 · 10 weeks ago
I went to therapy once to help with my ptsd (my mom set it up) and they said it wouldn't work because I didn't speak enough.
thekaylapup · 10 weeks ago
@tcole3710 You do need to speak to your therapist, but the right therapist will work with you.
If you can afford it, I recommend trying a few others looking for someone who is a good fit for you. It may be easier to find someone if your upfront with the fact that you find it difficult to talk to someone, but you want to work on that. (I guess I assume it was a matter if difficulty speaking to someone, whatever the case, it helps to be honest with your therapist about the issues you have)
I don't know if a therapist can help you with your PTSD while you aren't speaking enough, but I am certain that the right therapist can help you reach the point where you can speak more.
Improvement is a journey, and the first step isn't always on the most obvious path. Sometimes the barriers to your goal will take you to entirely different issues. But that doesn't mean the goal is unreachable. It doesn't even mean your getting off track. Don't give up hope, you can improve your well being.
parisqeen · 10 weeks ago
@tcole3710 If the typical CBT method doesn't work for you then your mum/whoever needs to find another method that suits you. Plenty of people with PTSD can't talk about their experience, or some people just don't talk much at all but it's the job of the therapist to implement other ways in which you can communicate (not trying to bash your therapist or your mum, I'm just someone who likes to think people can be a bit more creative and innovative when it comes to helping others). With children who suffer from trauma most places use the neurosequential model of therapeutics (NMT), which has shown to be really beneficial so maybe do some research on that. You could draw to communicate better, you could use toys. Although verbal is a lot easier for the therapist it takes a lot of trust and venerability from yourself to get to that stage. If you still need/want therapy I would try reaching out to people who can implement the methods I suggested above but do whatever you are comfortable with
tcole3710 · 10 weeks ago
To be honest, I’ve been getting better on my own. I’ve started to speak a lot more, mostly due to Pokémon Go. There’s a discord group for my area and I go for raid meetups, where I speak to others that play so I have something in common that I can talk about. I’ve also stopped thinking about the abuse I was subjected to as much as I did before, probably because I’ve been going outside a lot more.
parisqeen · 10 weeks ago
That's is absolutely wonderful and not many people can do that. I bet the creators of Pokémon Go didn't think it would help people in ways like this but it really does, I've seen some pretty positive outcomes from this game, mostly people making friends and getting outside more it's really good.
silvermyth · 10 weeks ago
I'm starting group therapy tomorrow with other sick kids, any advice?
unicycle · 10 weeks ago
You don't have to share anything in group if you don't want to, but if you relate to someone else's experience you should say so! It's really helpful and reassuring for people to hear that others are going through/have been through the same things.
parisqeen · 10 weeks ago
Take it as slow as you want, I've never had group therapy so I'm not really sure how to help you prepare but I like @unicycle's advice. Everyone expresses themselves differently so you might have really open kids who feel fine saying everything they've experienced, you might get kids on the opposite side of the spectrum who might not speak at all so go at your own pace. Try and put effort into the activities or methods the therapist/s put forward, they're there to help you. Might sound weird but try and have fun, it's a social thing, interact and get to know the other kids, become a close knit group of friends even if the only thing in common is your sickness it's nice to feel a part of something.
silvermyth · 10 weeks ago
That’s helpful, I don’t want to over share or anything like that