Ok cool. The topic of religion makes me uncomfortable because it's been shoved down my throat my whole life so when I moved out at 18 I ceased any and all religious stuff. I even dislike religious holidays

No, you aren't, but if you ever decided to be you easily could be. I'd be upset about peppers as well.

Anyway, as for that couple, I'da called the manager on myself. I'm not dealing with those fuckwads.

As for the religious holiday part, just think of it as festivus.... food and good company, sometimes with presents!

I particularly hate Thanksgiving food though... (besides apple pie).... usually we have enchiladas or meatloaf XD

It sucks but in a retail situation like that you should probably try to go with whatever makes the client happy.I'm not saying you should go to church with those weirdos; they're out of their d*mn tree. They're just trying to feel like good people but they are going about it like lunatics. This situation will probably come up again in the future and you could go with:
"Awe thanks folks, it means a lot to me that you care so much. So many people today don't reach out and connect with strangers." Then let them down easy with something like:
1) "My sister has been trying to get me to go to church with her. I should reach out and call her."
Or
2) "What is the name of the church? I can't go today, but I could check it out in the future."
Or
3) "Sundays are the day I take care of my parents after work. Do they televise the sermon?"
,
Those are all decent ways to get pushy people off your back. Number 2 leaves you open to them pestering you later but it's the most honest of all the lies lol

3) y'all gon' pay for her bills?! If they say yes.... go and collect, but do not pass go (I cannot stress that part enough!)

Just agreeing with the above. They were disrespectful arsehats.

You're not an ass. These people are. This is no different than a salesman trying to convince you to buy a saddle when you don't even have a horse and then getting mad at you because you say you don't like horseback riding and don't intend to buy a horse.
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It's actual insanity on their part.
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-mini-rant loading...-

I'm not going to bash religious people trying to get people interested in religion because for a lot of them it's literally something that brings them an insane amount of joy and hope in even the darkest moments in their lives, and they WANT to share that with people. And I don't think that's a terrible thing. But, as with everything, there's a time and a place, and ambushing someone that's forced to listen to you under duress (you run the risk of being fired if you walk away etc), and repeatedly ignoring all signs of discomfort and disinterest and flat out NO's is not acceptable behaviour on THEIR part. Neither is getting mad at someone for respectfully believing in a different God-- or no God at all

That being said, because it's your job, you're in a difficult situation. And sometimes it's hard to get people to go away without being rude and getting in trouble. And people like this can sometimes get even pushier when you try to be polite. De-escalation is always the best option, but sometimes there's nothing you can do.
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It's very bloody difficult to deal with customers who are that pushy and won't back off. Sometimes even trying to placate them to make them go away makes things worse. I do think you handled the situation just fine from your description, however.

If you want to know how religious someone is... give whomever they are trying to convert a sword and the missionary on their knees; with zero penalties about what happens next.

If you think the immediate reaction I'm thinking of is "they'll just chop them"... you're fucking wrong.

Oh... do not try that with cults or extremists knowing they are either. You're fucking yourself then... those fuckers are loons.

be the missionary* my bad...

I can't tell you how much that correction cleared up for me

Woah that's a lot of advice and support. Thanks yall I feel better =)

Totally agree that you aren't an ass! I have a similar issue being an atheist and honestly I've found that with religion obsessed strangers, it's easier to just say I am religious so they'll move on to a different topic. It's sad how tolerance is preached but not practiced but it is what it is. Also, reading that bit where you stated that you dislike religious holidays and your username is the grinch made me actually laugh out loud! XD

Lol I'm glad I could make ya laugh

<_ < *kneels*