Guys I really need help. Or maybe just to vent but advice is also welcome
My best friend confessed that she has feeling for me but I've just started a relationship, basically my first one and I like the guy. I love my friend though and I wouldn't be opposed to dating her but I have this new relationship that I'm enjoying
The other problem is that my friend is depressed and suicidal and this is making it all worse for her because now she has to watch me date someone else and she thinks she's ruined our friendship because she confessed even though it isn't her fault she's caught feels but she blames herself. I just don't know what to do. Well I do know what to do [keep dating my boyfriend and try and be as good a friend as I can without making my friend feel like I'm leading her on or pushing her away] but I know that its going to hurt her a lot and I could never live with myself if anything ever happened to her because of me but I could also never pity date someone
My best friend confessed that she has feeling for me but I've just started a relationship, basically my first one and I like the guy. I love my friend though and I wouldn't be opposed to dating her but I have this new relationship that I'm enjoying
The other problem is that my friend is depressed and suicidal and this is making it all worse for her because now she has to watch me date someone else and she thinks she's ruined our friendship because she confessed even though it isn't her fault she's caught feels but she blames herself. I just don't know what to do. Well I do know what to do [keep dating my boyfriend and try and be as good a friend as I can without making my friend feel like I'm leading her on or pushing her away] but I know that its going to hurt her a lot and I could never live with myself if anything ever happened to her because of me but I could also never pity date someone
by
savage_demmigod · 7 comments
4 years ago
savage_demmigod
· 4 years ago
Sorry I just needed to get it out and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it on this side
jasonmon
· 4 years ago
She needs to hear all of what you just said (except the pity date part). She probably had feelings for you for a while but seeing you date someone made her realize it.
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Your head is definitely in the right place. Good people pretty consistently have options for partners but choose to stick with their significant other. Some people disagree but I think building long term partnerships is more fulfilling than scurrying from one person to the next.
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Either way, it seems like she isn't pressuring you to do anything and just wants things to go back to normal. The ways to fix that are 1) time and 2) you treating her the same as you always have. She'll get over it and be a stronger person!
,
Your head is definitely in the right place. Good people pretty consistently have options for partners but choose to stick with their significant other. Some people disagree but I think building long term partnerships is more fulfilling than scurrying from one person to the next.
,
Either way, it seems like she isn't pressuring you to do anything and just wants things to go back to normal. The ways to fix that are 1) time and 2) you treating her the same as you always have. She'll get over it and be a stronger person!
scatmandingo
· 4 years ago
What’s the guy think about her? Poly relationships aren’t as taboo as they used to be. If you think you can keep everything honest and above board perhaps you could explore that avenue.
chocolatefeces
· 4 years ago
I was just gonna suggest what scatmandingo did. These days, who's to say a three-way relationship couldn't be a thing? If you're all on board, hell, it could make for a fun experience at the very least, or maybe even something truly meaningful at the most. Not to say you shouldn't consider both of their feelings on the matter, but it's worth the suggestion.
No matter what the case, if they're truly your best friend, just look at Pam and Jim. Maybe it doesn't happen right away, but you'll always love each other one way or another. Maybe later on it'll be the best option for you both. Best of luck
No matter what the case, if they're truly your best friend, just look at Pam and Jim. Maybe it doesn't happen right away, but you'll always love each other one way or another. Maybe later on it'll be the best option for you both. Best of luck
savage_demmigod
· 4 years ago
Thanks guys. And thanks @jasonmon
I have told her all that and we've had long discussions about it. I think time is the only thing that'll help now and I'm definitely treating her the same way
That really helped so thank you again
As for the poly thing she's a little possessive so I don't think she'd be into it but my boyfriend and I would probably be okay with it
I have told her all that and we've had long discussions about it. I think time is the only thing that'll help now and I'm definitely treating her the same way
That really helped so thank you again
As for the poly thing she's a little possessive so I don't think she'd be into it but my boyfriend and I would probably be okay with it
mykulweevur
· 4 years ago
Here to offer another perspective. Poly-dating is not really fullfilling or good for any of the participants. It may be 'fun' but what happened to being 100% dedicated to one person? It's more genuine and there is no confusion or jelousy. I just don't like the idea of dating multiple people simply because you 'like' too many people. Commit. Might sound harsh but it's a serious decision. To that point the best option may be to not date either for the time being. It's basically always a bad idea to enter into a new relationship confused. But it sounds like you're already dating one so that might not be prudent. Sincerely hope you make a decision that will make you happy and good luck.
savage_demmigod
· 4 years ago
Yeah I'd be willing to test it out but honestly I'm happy with just one person
