My main reason I’m putting this here is because Funsubstance is a community I’m in that actually feels together yet also anonymous. I’m also just hoping that somehow, someone here will have advice that fits right with me. I’ve been losing nights of sleep recently thinking about this, I just don’t know what I should or want to do with myself. I’d rather be biologically female, but would it be even a better thing for me to be identified as female at this point? Where do I even go? It’s currently 1am, and I know that when I wake up in the morning I’ll regret having posted this, that’s how it always is.

Hey there, idk all the answers to your questions since a lot of that is self discovery but here's my advice. Your wish for you to just be female without any transitions is no doubt the single greatest want in the community, it's a tough deal with even tougher obstacles. But it also has amazing rewards! No more dysmorphia or insecurities about how you feel. But it's a long way to reach that goal and the first step is you deciding if it's worth it. And it doesn't have to happen now or all at once, you can start small. But nothing will change unless you want it to. I hope this helps! Love from the FunFam!

It's totally normal to have "imposter syndrome" (e.g.: am I a REAL woman? do I really have depression, or am I faking? am I gay or just confused?). It's not like man = all masculine traits, interests, physical characteristics and all feminine for women. You can have a more masculine body, masculine hobbies, etc. and still be a woman - if that's what you want. There's no threshold or requirements or entrance exam to being a woman, you are what you choose to be. If you want to have a feminine body then make that your goal, but know that even those born female don't always have 100% female characteristics and they're still living normal woman lives. You should do what feels right to you and start with baby steps. Do you wake up feeling happy and hopeful? Then you're on the right track.

That's really rough, I know how disarming and all round confusing feelings like this can be and I think it's great you're asking for help and opinions because it's tricky even doing that. Like @unicycle said, it's very normal to feel almost like you're invading something or that maybe you're not sure what you want. It's especially hard when being "feminine" or "masculine" doesn't really have a definition. Unfortunately I don't think any advice I give is going to be helpful as I just don't have that insight an actual trans person would, hopefully some trans FunSubers can chime in. I can however say that your personality, you as a person, isn't really masculine or feminine, the things you like don't have to be tailored to one sex. You will always be "you" regardless of your body, this of course is still impacted by the hormones released by your body tho so it does suck when you just want to get out of your own skin.

Maybe start by asking yourself, if no one would judge or care who would I want to be? What would I wear? What would I do? How would that feel?
Then start slowly implementing things into your life that you’re comfortable with, for example you enjoy what would be considered “girls” clothes, then maybe start wearing more of those etc. If you like people calling you she/her then maybe start asking that, you could even start with us on funsub when you’re ready.
If you feel that this person you could be without consequence would make you feel more comfortable and "yourself” then I think you should start considering implementing some changes into your life or possibility transitioning eventually. If the only thing holding you back is just the effort, money and time then maybe you should do it. You should never feel uncomfortable or trapped with who you are. I really hope you feel happier with who you are asap.

It's also worth considering who you surround yourself with. I'm not trans, and I know that can be a lot harder, but even being open with sexually can be complicated. I would never want anyone to struggle with having to act like they are someone they are not, and I imagine feeling as though your body is wrong for you is even worse--but I would also hate to see you or anyone else come to harm over it. I had an intersex friend who was abused as a child for being intersex. She was born with those complications- but this didn't change the issues she faced over it. I know that I felt fear over coming out-and it's been mostly positive. But then you hear stories about people being really hurt over their sexuality, and you think "I really do have to be careful." Even in less extreme ways- I am certain that my sexuality would make some parents uncomfortable as I currently work at a daycare. If my boss knew, she probably wouldn't have hired me. Before you put a target on yourself, make sure you

Are safe in doing so. Here is a great place, and I sincerely hope that wherever you are in the world is a safe place too. No one should have to hide, but I would rather not see more suffering caused by putting light on yourself

Alright so first of all, please get out of my head.
Secondly: I have these exact same concerns. Sometimes they overwhelm me, and I can't sleep for a solid few nights. It ebbs and flows, coming and going like a metronome tide.
There's a constant narrative spun that says, "Oh, most trans people knew for a very long time!" and that's actually just a touch complete bullshit.
It's never too late to be yourself. You don't have to be overly feminine to be a woman.

If it suits your fancy, there are other enby labels to be. But I get the sense you don't really want those. So all I can really say is "Be you". It's up to you to take that up. And whether you do or don't, we'll still be here to support you regardless.

I suppose I can put my 2 cents here. I’m very much a tomboy. I’m confused for being a guy on the Internet. I’m perfectly fine with having a female body, but I’m not ok with dressing “feminine.” That’s not my style and I prefer shirts and shorts. I’ve received some resistance from family members, trying to make me wear dresses, and sometimes I give in and I feel bad, I think “this isn’t me. I don’t want people to view me this way, because I know people make assumptions on appearances.”
I suppose my point is to first dress how you want to present yourself. It’s a great first step to changing yourself.

There is already a lot of good advice here. The only I would add would be seriously consider getting some counselling or therapy. I'm only suggesting this to help you sort out your feelings and fully understand who you are. I remember seeing a cartoon about therapy where the patient's mind was a huge knot of yarn and the therapist was unwinding it and rolling them into nice neat balls of yarn. You may never figure things out exactly but it may help give you the tools you need to deal with things.

Hey there, friend.
Your feelings are 100% valid. I spent years thinking I was cis, and was fine with staying that way, until about 7-8 months ago. I always felt that *something* was off, but I never thought it was my gender identity.
I stumbled upon a trans subreddit, and wondered why all the memes hit so hard. The phrase "I’d rather be biologically female" was something I'd thought a lot in the months since, and a few times during my childhood (but it's perfectly valid to not have)
For a long time, I absolutley hated being called a girl, as it was always in a negative way. Whenever I didn't do something, I'd be called a girl, and I thought that it was the last thing I wanted. It was only recently, when on my own terms, that I started enjoying female pronouns.

One thing that made me realise that I was actually trans, and not faking it was when someone told me;
"If you were to suddenly wake up as the opposite gender, would you do your very best to transition back to your former gender?" and my answer to that was a firm *no*
If there was a method to suddenly switch genders, I'd fight to the death for it. I hate my masculine face, body and voice, despite being fine with it in the past.
I can personally attest to the fact there are at least 3-4 others on this site that get what you're going through, me included.
I don't think that I'd be super feminine if I were to transition, I'd probably be a little tomboy-ish.
I doubt my trans-ness almost every day. I have since I realised I was most likely trans in the first place. A lot of my friends do the same. You are valid. Doubt is something that is often prescent in change, and gender is a big change.

Gender Identity is something that is personal. You don't always need to compare yourself to others and think less of yourself. It's caused me self-esteem issues in the past.
.
And yeah, the transphobic post are mostly coming from 9-gag and i-Funny, they're both toxic cesspools. Those demi-gods we were promised would be handy for dealing with those.

I wish you the best in what you are going through! I might have missed it maybe seeing a licensed professional who has experience around these things might help with some of your questions

@lydia had some great advice, maybe you should join a transsubreddit and ask around there? or see how you feel being included in that environment?

I dont know what to say on my own but maybe my friend's advice will be able to help (I'm copy pasting from discord since he has since forgotten his password):
"It genuinely sounds like they are struggling with their gender identity. Speaking from the perspective of a transman I feel like it might be beneficial to them to see how they feel about using different pronouns for their self like they/them or she/her. Even if they aren't a transwoman they could be nonbinary, gender queer, or one of the other genders. If they aren't comfortable with any of this I am not sure what to say cause i dont really know of any trans resources. The lgbt reddit may be beneficial for them to ask questions on as the community is full of love, kindness, and people who are knowledgeable on lgbt matter."

Idk what else to say since I'm terrible at situations like this, but I hope his advice is able to help you out. Stay strong my friend <3

Thank you all. I’m not going to address everyone 1 by 1, but do know that I’ve read and appreciate everything. I’m currently seeing what I can find about local (but still good) resources. One time when I tried to reach out about therapy for depression, I got a call months later for gender therapy (when I made no indication of that being an issue at the time), and they proceeded to miss my calls and actually, falsely (once again, relevant to when this happen) OUTED me to my mother, so knowing there’s places local to my area that are that awful, I do need to be careful where I place my insecurities. Thank you for reaching out and trying your best to help validate my feelings, but I think the most validation I need is from myself and that’s a struggle. Have a good day/night y’all.

It really sucks when people take matters into their own hands without consent, especially something as personal as that, because of their own agendas.

“Sucks” isn’t quite as intense a word as I’d like but oh well