How do I make the pain stop?
by pbachman21 · 7 comments 1 week ago
pbachman21 · 2 weeks ago
I’m really missing someone right now, and I have been all day long. It’s starting to hurt..
I haven’t talked to this person in years, and they haven’t talked to me either. It pains me, deeply. This person was special, they knew how to talk with me. Sometimes I think they knew me better than I know myself. He understood more than anyone. He had a level head on his shoulders. He was determined, brave, only sometimes stupid.. but that’s one of the things I admired. I can’t get over how amazing of a person they were, but I don’t want to forget them forever like they were a bad memory, because they weren’t. We ended on a bad note, he got a girlfriend and never talked to me again, avoided me even. How do I make the pain stop?
jmmcclain · 2 weeks ago
I'm not sure how helpful I am with advice and these sort of things...but from my experience it doesn't really ever go away. It hurts. Bad. That's something you have to let yourself be okay with. It's okay to let yourself cry and be angry and sometimes it just comes out of nowhere randomly. Maybe that sounds intimidating - to know you will hurt - but if you give it time and surround yourself with people you trust and that care about you, or sometimes just have some time to yourself, then the pain starts to be manageable. It gets better. Hangout with friends. Look at stupid memes online. Watch some shows. Sometimes taking that energy and putting it into something like excercising or writing can help. I hope that helps some..maybe someone else can word it better
pbachman21 · 2 weeks ago
Telling me the truth bluntly is more comforting to me than telling me sweet words hidden as lies. Your words helped me.
It’s really just odd for me that these feelings just popped out of nowhere. I’m just upset over the fact I had no conclusion, no answers.
ratfink11 · 2 weeks ago
jmmcclain pretty much nailed it. Occupy your mind with other shit. And if there is a way of contacting the person, ask for closure. If you don't get it then it's up to you close and lock that door yourself. It's holding you back like an anchor.
cakelover · 2 weeks ago
For what my advice is worth, write it down
Write an email or on Word or whatever
Just write down what comes to mind about that person
I've found it to be helpful regarding my experiences
nicengelman · 1 week ago
I kind of disagree about reaching out to the person for closure. I've made that mistake in the past and you could end up dealing with a person that doesn't give a shit about the fact that they hurt you or they've just totally moved on and sometimes not getting the response you want can just make you feel even more rejected. But, that's just my personal opinion
jingle · 1 week ago
Imo, I think it's not good to look for closure in that person. That's something you need to find yourself. I've been in a very similar situation, and lemme tell you from experience it's painful when you involve that past person. Just try to focus on the good memories instead of the pain, and try to use that to channel good energy into good things for you. We're here for you if you need support, and hang in there. It gets better.