mialinay · 4 years ago
How old are you? Maybe some sort of internship/voluntary work? Helped me at least.
unicycle · 4 years ago
The number one thing to remember is that nobody is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about you. Anything awkward you say/do is either not noticed or quickly forgotten by everyone else.
The best way to get better at anything is to practice. So instead of having the usual limited interactions with strangers, why not throw in some extra conversing to get your toes wet? Compliment the coffee lady on her cool hair, tell the guy on the bus you like his shirt, etc. It's hard to go wrong with a polite compliment, and a little kindness can smooth over awkwardness with classmates/friends/colleagues. Just fake it as if you're confident and self-assured, and soon you'll find yourself actually becoming more confident and capable in social interaction.
purplepumpkin · 4 years ago
My best advice is: pretend you're already have it. Pretend you're under a special self-confidence spell or that you're in a fantasy where you're so appreciated no one cares about your little mistakes. I know how hard it is, believe me, I used to cry for 2 nights before class presentations and now I want to give tours at museums, which I wouldn't have believed even 5 years ago. But be aware it takes time, don't get impatient towards yourself.
jd1984 · 4 years ago
Like they already said, fake 'til you make it.
mialinay · 4 years ago
I can only agree with that.
Worked for me as well.
smorris017 · 4 years ago
That’s what’s worked for me
rosalinas · 4 years ago
Fake it til you make it
sssssssssssss07 · 4 years ago
thanks guys!
deleted · 4 years ago
What unicycle said is spot on. Also don't try to impress others. Odds are most of these people won't care about you.
cakelover · 4 years ago
Bit late to the party it seems...but here's something that may help: I suspect you're too self-conscious. People tend to focus on themselves, how they're standing, how they look, what to do with their hands and so on.
The obvious advice to that is "Don't focus on yourself". The trouble with this obvious-sounding advice is that it doesn't work. "Don't think of pink elephant"....just watch what your mind does for the next few seconds after reading that statement
cakelover · 4 years ago
So the corollary advice might be more effective. "Focus more intently on the other person"
Listen to what they say. Ask them a question and actually want to hear the answer, for example. If you listen, really listen to people they are unbelievably interesting. This goes for almost anyone, not just super-smart or experienced people
A smart person once told me "Everywhere and any time, people will surprise you"
sssssssssssss07 · 4 years ago
Helped. so, thanks!!!
scatmandingo · 4 years ago
Lie to strangers. I’m serious. My 7th grade drama teacher told us how his mother loved to talk to people in elevators and just make up random shit like her daughter was an astronaut. Most of the people you see in your life you will only see once. I started to do it too and it became like a game to see how crazy I could make it. I started to look forward to little talks with strangers and in a surprising short amount of time I flipped from an introvert to a person that has been taken to events as a plus one specifically because I can start conversations with anyone. For me the connection was that I didn’t have to feel embarrassed because I will never see these people again.
typow777 · 4 years ago
I've learned people love to talk about themselves, their experiences and definitely their opinions! Listening to a rando is a great way I became more self confident. Helping someone else feel confident in turn really helps too. Like someone said earlier, people LOVE compliments. If they ask about you, I don't give out much and bring it back to them. Another big one and we'll mentioned here is .. no one is looking at you. No one is talking about you. If so. Fuck um. You will never see them again. If you do see them again, right there you have something in common. Do you boo
iccarus · 4 years ago
i found the regret of not making that step, outweighs the shyness to begin with.