Comments

Smooth recovery.

So, explain the sand whale episode.

Mother of God...

Says the man who never had terrorists trying to blow up their citizens.

Not anymore. It's too dangerous for the people in the costumes, so they don't do that anymore.

Thanks, Cracked!

and this is why, even though i am a christian, I follow the New Testament and use the old as a storybook.

The winnie the pooh thing is a myth. ADHD wouldn't be a diagnosable disorder for 80 years following the writing of these books.

English is obviously not being this person's language of primary speaking.

There is no book of Hephaestus in the Bible. Argument invalid.

I am laughing so much harder at Boba Fett back there than I am at the actual kick.

While I love John Green, he has not yet won the Pulitzer Prize. The big P on Looking for Alaska is the Printz medal given to best Young Adult book.

Death likes potato chips?

Aaaand everything is dicks.

Yeah, they were. And this story actually broke during the Bush presidency, and America just forgot about it. Just wait. We'll forget about this in a couple months too, then act all surprised again when it happens with the next Pres too.

He is missed.

I'd be thrilled to do that last highlighted bit with you, Mr. Atheist.

Feels... I has them...

and in Latin, there is no V, U looks like V but is called U. So a "Double U" would look like a W.

She got him FF13/13-2. Clearly this woman hates him.

It's called timing. One happens when the nation's attention is diverted somewhere else, the other didn't.

Thanks for this info, Vlogbros.

He shared the info with the American people... and the entire rest of the world. Some of which can be considered our enemies. So, yes. Espionage.

and i'll be watching this for the next ten minutes, thanks.

He was going to be asked about it anyways. Might as well say something before getting the question.

While I can't say I'd dump her, I probably couldn't kiss every scar on her body. It'd just creep me out too much.

Good to see a Cracked picture getting reposted here. Guys, it's fake, it's from a photoshop contest.

Just remember that this is an Onion headline and an Onion article...