Comments

Liked for the title.

Reminds me of that old joke:
A married woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot for her husband's birthday. One of them is more than beautiful and really, really cheap. As she wants to buy it, the shopkeeper warns her: "This parrot has been kept in a brothel downtown for years. He may have learned foul language and he will use it." She still buys it and brings it back home, waiting for the rest of the family to come back.
Her older daughter arrives home, and the parrot immediately shouts "Great, here's a new hoe!" Mom explains the situation and hopes it was only an accident.
Her younger daughter enters the house, and the parrot shouts again "Great, here's a new hoe!" Same thing again, the mother starting to be really worried.
The father arrives home, and the parrot shouts "Hi, Bob, always nice to see you!"

If this is someone's pathetic attempt at flirting with me, I can swear I will unleash Hell on this son of a bitch and turn his life into a nightmare.

The Braille reads "No tocar" ("don't touch" in Spanish), which makes sense but is kind of disappointing.

I would really like to get a date with Benedicta Comberbitch.

These custom officers were terminal fools, but at least they have been New Zealous.

I don't get the dick pics. Sending a picture of your Jeep Cherokee conveys the same message and will never get you fined.

This made me fictionally laugh.

As a regular smoker, I actually laughed very hard with that one. And I kind of agree.

Regarding the title: ...or just, you know, do not bully anyone, try to be a pretty decent human being instead.

I, for one, will only date women, so... I think I'm a misandrist male.

Jump scares can be used in a clever way, and not be just a very loud sound piercing the silence while something happens onscreen. But 99,9% of jump scares are cheap as f*ck.

DAT PLOT TWIST.

Who is the artist? Some of these are incredible.

Hypothesis 1: Empty boxes and sadnes.
Hypothesis 2: Drugs hidden in these.
Hypothesis 3: Boxs actually contain pizzas and this person should be erased from the surface of the Earth.

I laughed way louder than I should publicly admit.

The bottom one is the only way to survive in some platform games.

Anon has a weird idea of what "a man" should be.

What the hell, dudes? Self-defense must be justified and proportionate. Hurting (potentially killing) someone who tried to break into your house while there is nobody inside is NOT proportionate defense. Not at all. If someone tries to physically assault you and you hurt him to repel the attack, it's self-defense, but using potentially deadly force on a burglar that would have had no one to hurt, or even scare, in the process is complete madness.

Black Science Guy sometimes writes weird stuff on Twitter, but one has to admit he really knows how to science.

I'm French and can testify this is false. Most French people only speak French.

Pure genius.