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Read this before, except it was an old man and a gay guy, EXACT same story, except at the end the gay guy (Who they thought was gay cos he had a gay pride tattoo) stood up and said he wasn't gay, the tattoo was in memory of his dead gay army brother.
People just manipulate the same story for all "minorities", pretty sure I've seen one with a young american and an asian guy

I'm 17 with a fucked up brain, HAH

I would go gay for this guy, I'm already Bi, but I would go full gay.

I raped a dildo because you told me to

The reason we hate on her and say she can't smile, is because EVERY role she acts, is the exact same, emotionless piece of shit. I don't give a fuck about her personality, I'm not her friend, I'm a viewer, I care about her acting performance, which is shit.

If you stop running from the t-rex, the t-rex stops chasing you, sure it starts eating you, but that's an entirely new problem

The t-rex isn't the problem, your lack of speed is the problem.

THE WAY HE SAYS "I WOULD NEVER" THE PAUSES AND START AGAIN MAKES ME LIKE HIM SO MUCH, I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT A CARTOON CHARACTER BEFORE

Omigod, This post just tought me that I'm an introvert...

I KNEW WALNUTS LOOKED LIKE BRAINS

Dat grammar D:

COE7pr

Don't lie, we all read that as "bone-air"

THis picture makes me so uncomfortable

As a software engineer myself, I can tell you that this is the most offensive thing you could ever give to a software engineer, this is web development, not software engineering, how dare you mix them up.

GOD Evethay! You can't just ask why somebody's blue!

Being legalized in March in the UK

Dogs don't see black and white, they see yellow fine, and anything else looks blue

Bad Analogy, it's like having a race track, and you start, get half way, then a mile of the track is moved from the beginning of it to the end, thus you have travelled over that piece of track twice, and have travelled an extra mile.

I remember I saw something like this on facebook, where a kid in Arizona had a heart condition, and for his 18th birthday, his dad donated a heart so he could have surgery. Everybody was crying and shit and I was like "Yeah they can't do that. That didn't happen. It's illegal. The doctors can't kill the dad (even with his permission) or allow him to donate his life like that, it's classes as euthanasia. Retards"

She actually looks quite sexy in a cute kinda way, better than a twig that's for sure.

Heh, this was Jackass, the chair, cabinet and lamp are nailed to the floor, the wind is from a private jet's engine

THis is so beautiful, I'm either gunna steal it, or try to do something equally as beautiful.. and fail horribly... I'm gunna steal it... I'm an ass.

NO! NO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY "THAT'D BE GREAT"! DAMMIT MOON MOON!

*american person voice* "It's called soccer, not football!" Really? Cos every other country.. ever, seems to disagree.

There's bravery... then there's real stupidity*

I hope when he made this speech he did it in better grammar.

"Vaguely aware of some short people living in the house"
"Babe.. did somebody rent the spare room?"

"Nigga stole my bike!"

"Floaty Canada"

This boy.. this boy should be the future.

I lost my girlfriend to self harm, she was cutting herself and accidentally cut too deep, the pain made her pass out, she bled to death. I was at work at the time. Self harm is NEVER the answer. Get a hobby, talk to friends, go for a run, read a book, all better ways to relieve the pain than with self harm.
I have a new girlfriend now, after 3 years of trying to get over it. She used to self harm, but now she plays games with me when she feels like cutting.

o.o I roll my sleeves up to my elbows.. I didn't realise it was that big a deal...

One less piece of shit in the world if you ask me.

She's a keeper

She never said it was expensive, just that it was too expensive for her to cry for you.

I scrolled up and did a front flip, cos I'm such a rebel

So true, when I was a teen, I had a ton of time and enthusiasm, but no money. Now I have a job, so I have the money, and the enthusiasm, but not the time.

Batman has no superpowers, just money and training.
Iron Man technically has no superpowers, but he's still a fucking genius

The moral: Get your older sister to trade you for drugs, it can only end in free pokemon.

He'll be back...

Peanuts are highly toxic to dogs, you should never let your dog eat them unless you don't want a dog for much longer.