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I have a bf who likes making feminist jokes and IS a LITTLE feminist though not strongly and whenever we learned about Greece he loved Sparta and was all like "Sparta is the land for men" and I emailed this to him and he came up to me the next day at school and was like, "So why do you fit all but one of the Spartan women descriptions?" And I was like, "Which one?" And he was like "since you're so much like Spartan woman already, my thirst for completion requires that you wear short skirts"

I'm ambidextrous. I win.

We should sneak into the houses of the Westboro baptist church people and install these shower heads.

It must be done.

My cat sits like this but he's overweight so his belly fat is spilling out around him.

Omg I was obsessed with Les Mis years before the movie came out and no one else knew what it was and now I have such a huge following with Les Mis fans like I'm the leader of our unofficial fan club and one time the teacher was lecturing and I started singing "Look down, look down, don't look him in the eye" and they all joined in and we sang all the way up to when javert and jean valjean are arguing singing and I sand Javert's part and some random person in class sang Jean Valjeans part (the original song version, the changed the words in the movie and we like the London cast better) and we didn't even plan it and now we have an unbreakable bond.

Am I the only one who looks at these kinds of pictures and wonder who the fuck took the picture!?

Push up bras are evil. I would much rather wear a sports bra thank you very much.

Me and my fiancée met in a library O.O

It is now my life goal to stay in all of the above except the Japanese one because that is not weird as there is way more than one of those capsule hotels in Japan, the cost about 20-30$ a night generally.

So we have choice between handsome genetically modified devoted man willing to sacrifice himself for his country, and the world, and on the other hand we have pirate Johny Depp. I think we all know the correct choice here folks... CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!!!!!!

Let us unite and take over the she-male's land yes? Where nerds can comfortably live together in unity yes?

'MURICA!!!!! CANADA IS NORTHERN AMERICA!!!!!!!!! (Or that's how those of us living right near the border feel like sometimes...)

Omg, imagine if all the nerds of the world got one of these. We would have so many nerds in that hospital for challenging each other and other to a light saber battle... Actually, everyone should have one of these. We will destroy and guns and replace them with laser guns with real lasers and decorate the spaceships all Star Wars like and then we will live in a giant Star Wars LARP and we will keep it going on forever and we'll never tell our children that it was any different and they will grow up in Star Wars.

Dude, you need to make a fanfiction on this. I would so read it.

But... BUT WHAT IF IT WAS A REAL FIRE!!!???

Whoever this guy is is pretty good looking. Just sayin.

I also would have said the blood of angry men... Or the rose the phantom gives Christine. (Phantom of the Opera is a thousand times better than Les Miserables but Les Miz is still the second best musical ever.)

It is time to make an account so I can be compatible in something new... Onward! To a brighter future... On the Internet.

The ps2 is Snape... I need to dig mine out.

Yay! My now fiancee was in the friend zone for 2 years...

Once we were in this gas station where they has a scanner on the wall and if you waved your hand in front if it the door would open. Everyone needs one.

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!!!!! Like, omg Mae wtf that's harsh.

It's a politician.

... I would gladly except 750$ in place of actual presents. This year I got a pair of flip-flops and a hardcover version of Gone with the Wind, and a DVD copy of the King and I. That's all. And it seemed nice to me. I always get a little nicer presents than this one Christmas... but if I get nicer presents, logically, I get fewer present. Christmas I got a kindle fire and tickets to a Maroon 5 concert and a new set of pastels. Which I think is pretty damn awesome and I think most people would agree with me, and then there's bitches like this who are like "oh... I only got a mansion in the carribean... only one! Can you believe it? My parents are such bastards, I wanted fucking Justin Bieber tickets!"

We saw a wolf spider in our back yard today and my brother was throwing a soccer ball at it from afar, and my mom was all screaming at my dad to do something and he was using his laptop that we were gonna sell since he got a new one and he slammed the laptop on our concrete padio on the spider to kill it, put it in the box of ashes next to our fire place, and set it on fire. And it was still alive for at least a full minute.

*too

It is Wolverine, because Wolverine is way more awesome than Batman. Batman is cool to though.

The cow shitting it actual a mythological creature the fights you with its poop.

These jokes are insulting, yet funny.
Sincerely,
Random Redhead

I have same email I had when I was nine, and my mom was worried about me having my own email and she found aol and thought it looked kid friendly and now I have an aol email and I'm too lazy to make a new one because because then I would have to somehow tell everyone I know that I changed my email, and that would be to much work.

Don't forget about the guy writing/drawing something as he sits with a perfect view of the backsides of people walking on the treadmill.

...this is the land of my dreams... oh where can I find thee?

No one can hate ANIME. There are different ones and different types of different genres, but there will be one that you like if you say you hate it or one that you dislike if you say you love it.

*Prepares for 3+ dislikes and a rant on being mean and/or hateful*

I scored boy on all but 2 and I am a girl. I fit the spider one and the are you wrong one. I am right until proven wrong.

The one that says "Nothing is written in stone" is correct. Nothing is written in stone. The word nothing is literally written is stone therefore nothing is written in stone.

. No imagination can conceive the dreadful temptations it sets before me. For some unforgiven wickedness of my forefathers I am knit to this fiend—for a fiend it surely is. I beg and beseech you to crush it out of human semblance, even if I die for it.' Such were the words of the hapless Mordake to Manvers and Treadwell, his physicians. In spite of careful watching, he managed to procure poison, whereof he died, leaving a letter requesting that the 'demon face' might be destroyed before his burial, 'lest it continues its dreadful whisperings in my grave.' At his own request he was interred in a waste place, without stone or legend to mark his grave."

The female face was a mere mask, 'occupying only a small portion of the posterior part of the skull, yet exhibiting every sign of intelligence, of a malignant sort, however'. It would be been seen to smile and sneer while Mordake was weeping. The eyes would follow the movements of the spectator, and the lips 'would gibber without ceasing'. No voice was audible, but Mordake avers that he was kept from his rest at night by the hateful whispers of his 'devil twin', as he called it, 'which never sleeps, but talks to me forever of such things as they only speak of in hell.

"One of the weirdest as well as most melancholy stories of human deformity is that of Edward Mordake, said to have been heir to one of the noblest peerages in England. He never claimed the title, however, and committed suicide in his twenty-third year. He lived in complete seclusion, refusing the visits even of the members of his own family. He was a young man of fine attainments, a profound scholar, and a musician of rare ability. His figure was remarkable for its grace, and his face—that is to say, his natural face—was that of an Antinous. But upon the back of his head was another face, that of a beautiful girl, 'lovely as a dream, hideous as a devil'.

And pressing the elevator button.

I used to look forward to the hotel pool.

Christianity is winning...Where's Bill Gates when we need him? (Nothing against Christians, there are just way more of you than, you know, every other religion)

FOLLOW ME MY UNDEAD MINIONS TO SEIZE THE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE!!!!!!!! AND BRING ME BACON!!!!!!!!!!

Feminine side... Coming out... Must resis- aaaaaaawwwww :,) Screw my tomboyism this is so sweet!!! :)

My dog would have freaked out so much, but that's how I would have reacted. Then my fiancé would feel bad for scaring me and he would make me crimbrule, because he is a chef and that is the way to my heart- food.