Oh my this is an absolutely terrible joke! ....I like it

You assume I even have $1,000

Honestly he looks less happy about getting his job back than he looks about being fired

Darth Yentruoc. That’s...interesting

THE LITTLE BITTY PICTURES!

I’m from St. Louis... I’m ashamed of my people

I wanna touch it so badly

I didn’t read the title first and had no idea what weird creature I was looking at

Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble but I’m pretty sure the last f is fornication. Not fucking...

I was just testing to make sure it still works. Yup it does. Ok back inside like nothing happened....

Reminds me of my old ‘95 Toyota Camry. That car was older than me and I think I’d still be driving it if it didn’t get totaled on the highway. They’re fucking tanks. Never break.

Always go back to sleep. I gave up a long time ago

Haha got your nose! Oh...there is no nose

Oh my gosh a bear is attacking my kayak and might attack me? Let’s record it!

Who would leave that in the kitchen? That so unsanitary...

That’s when you just get up, unplug their phone and plug yours in all while maintaining eye contact. You can even throw in a “what are you gonna do about it?” gesture for extra umph

But then you’ve got to wash the spoon...

My cabinets under the kitchen sink are completely full of plastic bags. My roommates keep telling me to throw them out, but that’s just not what you do... I feel compulsed to hoard them ALL

I’ve eaten an entire bowl of spinach artichoke dip before. And I knew it was dip!

Maybe I’ll try...oh the pasta I’ve gotten every time I come here! That sounds good!

I’d kill for a new pair of bed sheets that I don’t have to pay for. I’ll invite that kid