I didn't choose the tug life, it chose me.

"I don't have enough money, what about this kid?"

This is my dream job.

This is incredible.
I want it, but not to wear.

Well, I mean...that's a picture of someone wearing one.
So...someone is funding it.

If you can eat it within thirty minutes, you get the entire meal free.

This picture is perfect.
Absolutely perfect.

You bet the hell I am. If you're fat to the point that your life is threatened, and you sit on a high horse that is struggling to hold your tons of fat up, I'm pretty damn bothered.
You need help, or you're going to die way before you should.

"Timmy sit still, I have more flowers."
"But they itch."
"You signed up for this, Timmy."

The Joker is not a nice guy.

Did he really "break into" or did he just open the door?

We do, yes.

NO WAY, NO WAY.
I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE.

Choo choo, here comes Mark Twain.

Curiosity got the pussy wet.

Realistic horror movies.
I need this in my life. Where nobody trips every single time they run away and the killer doesn't waste time building tension.

I enjoyed this movie.

IT'S MISTER WORLD WIDE!

Hey, make the best out of your situation.

"Jesus, you smell so good."
"Judas, please back up."
"Mmmm, strawberries..."

So instead of being in a relationship with them, you are in the "zone of friends".
The friendzone is a real place, it's just not as evil as people make it out to be.

I need to get in on this.