Well, the title is honest.

Incredibly accurate, except Monsters Inc. came out when I was nine.

The most thugginest pigeon I've ever seen.
Yes, thugginest.

It's always crazy to see animals adapt to circumstances like this.
My cat was never able to move on two legs, even if he wanted to.

Buckle up, kids.

I ain't getting paid to help you, I ain't helping you.

This is why this is my favorite sport.

What is this crazy, half-gif madness?!

They look comfortable.
I need a cat so I can make bunkbeds.

"Hey look! There's something on the floor! I wish I could read! Woof woof woof!"

This would be cool if it weren't so heartbreaking.

I'll just wait here for someone to run into my bullets.

"McDonald's best friend" is a little scarier to me than "Can't find on Google".

This freaked me out a little.

Blue screwdriver.
Of course, I've seen this before, so I cheated.
I'm a filthy cheater.

Spiders. Truly the most terrifying beasts in all of existence.

Hey look, it's Cat Stevens.

In a week, he'll have taken over the world with dominos.

50 Shades of Beastiality.

I love how relaxed Obama is as a person. He can take jokes without the Secret Service abducting anyone.

Well, they aren't wrong. They aren't even throwing candy.

Making one immediately.

"I'm calling the cops on you!"
"I have this on video."