So then maybe you should get rid of it? Just a thought

Storytime: the reason why part of my username is dash is because when I was a kid I used to play soccer and I was really fast. I started playing around the same time the first incredibles came out and one of my friend’s parents called me that during a game. After that the name stuck. So there you go.

Ba dum tssss

Not worth it.

When I was younger I watched an episode of “1000 Ways To Die” and one lady died from using a cucumber as a dildo.

I have a coworker who makes me feel like this, but it’s more of a “warning! stay away” kinda feeling.

*vacation.

I actually met George Lopez. Nice guy

Dude haha this happened to me years ago. Just ignore it. I’m sure you’ve also had vivid straight sex dreams.

I personally just prefer to watch men’s soccer over women’s. They’re more entertaining and I feel like they just play better soccer.

Just smile, bat your eyes and apologize profusely.

He looks a little uncomfortable to be there.

It’s not the restaurant’s fault that you’re a picky eater.

She looks like a whiter version of Sammi Sweetheart from Jersey Shore.

Is this somewhere in New Mexico?

Seriously Neymar’s a bitch.

lol this happened one time with me and my friend. One time one of her guy friends from school called her and was talking to her for a while. She was telling him what we were up to and how she wants to bring me up there to visit all of her friends. Both my name and his name are very similar and when she told him what my name was he whispered and said, “is she as sexy as her name sounds?” (Btw he was on speaker so I heard everything) my friend pauses, looks at me for a little while and says of course she is. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments I’ve ever encountered especially cause he had no clue that I could hear him.