I also hate when other countries make fun of us for loving our country. Like sorry you guys suck.

How does this work?

“You fell asleep in my, car I drove the whole time, but that’s okay I’ll just avoid the holes so you’ll sleep fine. I’m driving here I sit! Cursing my government! For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement!”

“Zoopals make eating fun!”

Has anyone actually seen it in person? It’s super tiny and quite underwhelming.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like soft pretzels.

Shots fired

@title, tone down the enthusiasm. You’re not that funny

Is that blasphemous?

Is a dry martini just gin?

This freaks me the fuck out

But wouldn’t a deaf person not know what sex sounds like?

It’s probably still alive too

#neverforgetsteveirwin

Probably from a barn? Just a thought

I think I just lost a few brain cells from reading this.

I feel sorry for you. Learn how to spell

How tall? Short? And fat?

And when they walk up to me I say, “oh shit something smells really bad”

I aspire to be like her