dave99 comments - FunSubstance

dave99 · 3 years ago

Banana ban

1

dave99 · 3 years ago

I think the person making the FS post doesn't understand that this tweet is specifically referring to 9/11. I think the FS poster came up with that title to make a joke about like, "hey, action movies aren't live TV," not realizing that the tweet was about a specific tragic event

"on live tv" 3 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

I think the person making the FS post doesn't understand that this tweet is specifically referring to 9/11. I think the FS poster came up with that title to make a joke about like, "hey, action movies aren't live TV," not realizing that the tweet was about a specific tragic event

2

Asked to modernize Teddy Roosevelt after my last post...This was a labor of love 6 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

So... Ron Swanson, basically

7

A plan to troll 1 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

This aged poorly

The USPS is easily confused! 1 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

If she had actually sent it, it'd be postmarked lol.

1

Absolutely wonderful 4 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

I have literally no idea who or what these people are, are they convicts?

Ever relevant 2 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

After Michael Brown was killed by a cop acting in self defense*

1

My husband entered his first art competition and won second place in people's choice, I'm 3 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Self portrait?
(No I'm kidding please don't murder me)

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This is half correct brehs 10 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Mmm just gotta pull that trigger and hold it for her to have a "good time" ;)

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I'll just leave this here 7 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Low frictose porn syrup*

Scorching 24 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

I go jogging at 4 AM in Alabama. Temperature? 70-75 degrees Fahrenheit, 92-94% humidity. It's dark out the whole time and STILL about that hot.

1

Sony computers in 2020 8 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Can confirm this is not the case

Pop art of the top part of a pop tart 6 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Pop t'art.

1

Ah, so unfortunate 2 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Running in the rain is fun, especially in the summer! Think of it as free sweat.

2

Finally let him get a puppy 6 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

Yeah if you want something badly enough to beg for it for 4 years and your spouse withholds it... maybe she doesn't love you

Absolute Madlad at a young age 11 comments

dave99 · 3 years ago

I smell child abuse

1

Indeed 2 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

It will deteriorate over time anyway, that's how lithium ion batteries' lifespans work...

Getting dabbed on as you bleed out 4 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

I'm a fully grown adult man, who lives in Alabama ironically, and someone who breaks into my house is getting shot. This kid deserves a medal

2

The Queens are here 2 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

Also, this would be a hell of a lesbian fanfic

The Queens are here 2 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

I should very much like to... how do I say this poetically... bury my head in Liv Tyler's bosom while I erupt like Mount Doom into her Shelob's tunnel.

It's all coming together 4 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

I can kill every type of cancer. Put cancer cells in a petri dish, then let me blast it at point-blank with a #00 buckshot load from my 12-gauge shotgun. Boom, it's dead.
Oh, killing it WITHOUT harming the host? That's where it gets tricky...

1 · Edited 4 years ago

Well dam 4 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

He wasn't a soldier, he was a Navy SEAL.

Barber being an absolute bro to a client with a memory problem 3 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

It's probably an "after" picture, he probably didn't show up bald...

2

How far will you go??? 20 comments

dave99 · 4 years ago

Man, "apocalyptic crisis" and "regular Chinese day" sure are drawn pretty close together

2